Update!

Hi all, been a while since I posted. Anyway, I've completed my service term in OCS, and am moving on to professional term. I've always wanted to go to Signals, partially because people always say it's more relaxed, but more importantly, because I'm interested in communications and whatnots. Sadly, I got posted to Infantry, and will be in Alpha Wing for my professional term. There's many stories about Alpha Wing, so I really hope I'll survive there for the next 5 months or so =\.

Anyway, I'm returning back to camp on Tuesday, have to be ready by 0700 =(. I've to really fully enjoy myself these few days, because I doubt there'll be any such breaks for some time to come. I heard from Terry that Mr Clement Chew is now a father ^^!

Time really flies. Just this time last year I was busy making X'Mas cards for people. But this time round I barely feel like I've time to rest. I really don't want to miss this break!

Anyway, wishing all of you a Merry Christmas! And a Happy New Year! =)

UM1s!

Been feeling very uneasy these 2 days, for no apparent reason at all =(. Anyway, I finally bought the Westone UM1s, and they're really good earphones! Approximately 1.5 day more before I book-in again =(.

Watched Death Note today with Geri Dear =) and Greg. Pretty cool movie! I finished reading the manga quite some time ago, but nevertheless, I still enjoy the movie thoroughly (although I knew what was going to happen here and there). Anyway, before watching the movie, I met Mac, Jeremy, Raj, Nick, and Greg =). We went to Raj's house for some Deepavali lunch or something. It was quite fun seeing all of them again =)!

Rest In Peace, Mr Vic... =(

To all my friends who was with me in TP, and have worked in various events, I'm sure you all know who Mr Vic is. The ponytail cool, Mr. Nice Guy lecturer, who helped me out a lot during one or two of my events. Although I was never taught by him personally, working with him during just that one or two events was great. He's the steady and cool type, and gets things done fast. Really friendly too =)! I just heard from Terry the sad news... =(.

Voices

Hello all, it's been a while since I updated. Anyway, I booked out already 9am this morning, and will be booking in at 8pm later... =(. Tomorrow's field camp till Thursday, bah. Training's pretty fun, and I enjoy myself quite a bit training wise =). People wise, it's another story altogether. Don't want to write about it now, but there's some pretty nasty characters... Well =(. Thankfully there're also really nice people =D. Hope all my friends are doing well... =). Greg's also having his BMT field camp right now, might see him in Tekong =P!

Anyway, SAOSIN's debut album's out... Check out "Voices"!

Back To Training

Alright, block leave officially ends today =(. I got posted to OCS, so I'll be reporting to SAFTI MI between 0700 to 0800 tomorrow. Wish me all the best alright? =) Hopefully I'll endure this 9 months... =\. I'm feeling both happy and sad (for many reasons) at the same time, but well, for now, I just want to do my best =).

Anyway, it was a wonderful block leave! I'm going to miss my friends, family, and Geri so much =(!

Take care, everyone =)!

Being A Little More Respectful... I Think

Sometimes I wonder why I always hold myself back (nowadays) when I'm feeling really pissed off with some people deep inside. In the past I'd definitely have lashed back at them, but I don't do that anymore. People are just so hopeless. Selfish, self-centred, the list goes on.

I wonder if it's because I've learnt to tolerate others, or simply I don't really give a shit anymore. Maybe some people feel great and cool because they think they're fucking trendy, but it's all so god damned superficial. They bond as a group to make fun of others, feeding off others' misery, acting all big shot and what nots. What the hell?

Every single time I come across these sort of assholes I try to cheer myself up by thinking of my really good friends, Geri, and my family. I'm really thankful to have them, but why the fuck must I always encounter screwed up people? Maybe I'm just not matured enough to ignore/tolerate/accept them, I don't know. But the question I always ask myself is, why must these people even exist?

For those that don't know what I'm writing about it doesn't really matter. It's just some random thoughts. Humanity's probably going to go even lower with each passing day, well =). Maybe it's better for others to see me as a joke/fool than for them to know me.

By the way, I got a Meizu Miniplayer M6 recently, and it's really nice. Call it an iPod clone or whatever, but I love it =D. Read a review here:
http://www.dapreview.net/e107_plugins/content/content.php?content.296

Anyway, just got to head down to Jaben (at The Adelphi) one day and test out some earphones =D. Westone UM1 seems good judging from reviews, got to test it out though =D.

Goo Goo Dolls - Iris

And I'd give up forever to touch you,
'Cause I know that you feel me some how.
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be,
And I don't want to go home right now.

And all I can taste is this moment,
And all I can breathe is your life,
And sooner or later it's over,
I just don't want to miss you tonight.

And I don't want the world to see me,
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand.
When everything's made to be broken,
I just want you to know who I am.

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming,
Or the moment of the truth in your lies.
When everything feels like the movies,
Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive.

And I don't want the world to see me,
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand.
When everything's made to be broken,
I just want you to know who I am.

And I don't want the world to see me,
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand.
When everything's made to be broken,
I just want you to know who I am.

And I don't want the world to see me,
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand.
When everything's made to be broken,
I just want you to know who I am.
I just want you to know who I am.
I just want you to know who I am.
I just want you to know who I am...

Blogging For The Sake Of... Blogging =P

I seriously wanted to get a Nintendo DS Lite, but after much serious consideration and procrastination I decided not to. Because I probably won't have the time to play with it while I'm in NS =(. I really like the NDS Lite though. Bah. Anyway, time really flies while you're NOT in Tekong =(. It feels like I only POP-ed yesterday =(.

Gregory and Boon Tiong got enlisted on Saturday and Friday respectively, hope they're both coping well inside =). Gregory went to Cougar! Same company as me! He's in platoon 2 though. I was from platoon 4. Anyway, hope he enjoys himself! I heard Boon Tiong went to Bronco. Bah. To all my other friends who are serving/going to serve NS, hope all of you have fun =)!

Anyway, the past 3 months in Tekong was really memorable, in both good and bad ways. They always say NS is where you see all sorts of people, and damn it's really true. You don't really know who to trust and who not to trust at the end of it all. Even till now. Bah. On another note, I don't particularly like to blog about my NS life because if I do so I'd have less time for my civilian life =P.

Last but most importantly, I hope Geri (Daa Daa!) gets well soon =). Also, may her group mates work a bit harder, for they are simply too lazy and maybe a little useless =(.

Take care everyone! =)

POP... Birthday...

Hello all, I finally POP-ed around 3 days ago (Wednesday)! And yesterday's my birthday! =P

Anyway, thanks for all the birthday wishes and gifts! =) Will write more another time, very tired and lazy right now. =P

My Great Friends & Great Girlfriend =P

My friends celebrated Jeremy and my birthday last night. I was surprised considering my birthday's still a week away =P. Nevertheless, it was really nice of them! Sorry that I was sick =(. Thanks to Mac, Raj, Jeremy, Greg, Amir, Rayhan, Nick (and his friend), Chin Ming, and of course, Geri! =)

Even though most of us are serving NS, I'm really happy we all can still hang out like the old times. Old is gold =).

POP Soon...

Been a while since I updated, but anyway, I'll be POP-ing this Wednesday (September 06). Time really flies when you don't think about it, but looking back on the past 3 months, it feels like forever has just passed. It's quite a weird feeling actually. I actually feel a little sad =(.

I've made some really good friends, and at the same time, some people are just so screwed =(. I don't really feeling like writing anything now, but POP's coming soon, and I hope I do get to OCS after this, although it's hard for it to happen =(. Let's hope =P. Take care everyone! =)

Back =P

SIT Test ended yesterday, and it was a really really tiring 2 days =(. Nevertheless, it was fun! I was in Bravo, together with 14 other guys (some from my platoon, others from other platoons, and one guy from Hawk Coy). I must say it's one hell of a detail! Everyone played his part, and yup we all had fun!

Anyway, my first assessor was a little weird... I felt a little discouraged after that =(. The second assessor was slightly better =). Anyway, I just hope I'm still able to make it to command school =).

I'm booking in at 1945 later =\. See you all around! =)

SIT Test + More

Been a while since I posted here =(. Anyway, I do take the time to read everyone's blog everytime I'm home, but I seldom take the time to post =P. Heard from Mac and the rest about the new ESC Committee, doubt any one of them will read this, but anyway, all the best to them =)!

Come to think of it I really do miss life in TP =(.

Anyway, NS life's been pretty tiring recently. It's pretty fun to put myself to the challenge though. There'll be another IPPT on Tuesday, and then SIT Test would be from Thursday to Saturday! SIT Test is basically a field camp where you'll be assessed on your leadership capabilities by external assessors. I really hope I do well in this and not let myself get too caught up with my personal emotions towards certain people =). Well, there're some really good friends in NS as well ^_^.

Anyway, Geri cooked for me oatmeal/cereal chicken today (with a little bit of hinting from me =P)! Thanks DARLING! =P

Don't really know what else to write, I'll be booking in at 1845 =(. Take care everyone! =)

Field Camp + Many More

Hi all, it's been a really long time since I posted something here. Anyway, I just finished my field camp recently (21 - 27 July). It was a really fun experience, although I felt quite uncomfortable not being able to bathe and all at times.

Before I start talking about my NS life, I'd first like to say I really really miss my old (civilian) life. Thanks to all my friends who took Geri out for a birthday celebration, you know who you are =). When I came home yesterday, I got a letter from my sister. She's writing about how much she misses home and all, and I thought it was really nice of her =).

Ok, so back to NS life. Field camp training was fun, but seriously you get to see people's true colours. There's this particular guy that punched me for no apparent reason other than the fact that he "snapped". In what way did I offend him, I've no idea. Well, well. Also, there's this really irritating guy that constantly talk shit about others. I know he's always talking behind my back, but well, what can I do?

Fucking hell, I miss all my friends, family, and Geri so much I don't know how to express it. I'd give up many things just to be with them, seriously. AND I REALLY REALLY DISLIKE THAT PERSON who constantly stabs others. Really. I've no fucking idea what I did to him, and he's really getting on my nerves. Why must assholes like this exist?

Anyway, back to field camp, the 7 days was really fun! On the first day, my section had to set up the single-coil wire barricade, and it was pretty tiring. We also had to pitch the basha tent and whatnots, and I felt a great sense of satisfaction after that. Some sections got to learn various IFC stuff, and everyone seemed to have fun. I'm not going to write about each and every day, but here are some of the more memorable moments.

- Sleeping in the basha for the first time was damn funny now that I think of it. The ground was really rocky, although my buddy and I had already cleared all the big rocks and stuff before setting up the basha. There was only one particular position I could sleep in. A little more to the right or left, and I'll be sleeping on rocks. As a result, I woke up every hour or so to re-adjust my sleeping position. Also, I had guard duty on the first night, and got to see many wild boars! They literally squeezed passed the wire barricade =(!

- By the second day I've already accepted the fact that I'll be a smelly boy for the next few days. Our OC said many inspirational/motivational things to us, and one of my favourite sayings by him is "The sky is your blanket, the earth is your bed." It felt a little comforting knowing that during field camp =).

- Heat rash and insect (mainly mosquitoes and sandflies) bites are a norm =(.

- Firing blanks for the first time was really memorable! Seeing fireflies for the first time was great!

- On the night of our technical break, the sky was mesmerising. The amount of stars was really wow!

- Digging a shell scrape is really damn tiring =(. Sleeping in it was a great experience!

And many many more. Basically, I enjoyed my field camp thoroughly! Oh ya, the combat rations... =|. Some are pretty good, some are really bad =P.

Anyway, yesterday's our (Geri and I) first year anniversary! =P She's the best! *hug hug* =P Yay!

P.S: I'm still pissed off with that backstabbing master =P.

Delayed Book In

I went to Pasir Ris hoping to book in, but when my sergeant saw my MC he told me to go home =(. So I'd be booking in only tomorrow morning. Hope I don't miss out too much! Anyway, take care everyone =). I'm feeling much much better already but my throat hurts =(.

First Bookout

I'm finally out of army after 2 weeks. Time passes really fast when you look back on it, but when you're inside, every day feels like a week. I'm booking in in approximately 12 hours' time, and I'm feeling really shitty right now. My company got to bookout early yesterday, around 8.30AM, and I was really happy. I was thinking of all the things I could do, all the places I could take Geri to and have fun. I was thinking of going to my Dad's home, of going to Boon Tiong's house since it's been really long since I saw them. But no, I came home, took a bath, Geri came, and FOR NO REASON AT ALL I SUDDENLY HAD FEVER. It was around 37.8 degrees celsius initially, but then within an hour or so it had reached 38.8 degrees celsius. I kept on praying that it would drop soon. It did drop once in a while, only to rise up again. Before I knew it, it was 6PM. My whole afternoon is gone because of the fever.

I finally decided to go to Changi Hospital's A and E department to see a doctor. The doctor was unfriendly and whatnots, I don't even know if he diagnosed me correctly. Anyway I'm being given 2 days MC, although I'll still book in today. I'd hate to miss any lessons/training. I'm feeling much better now, and I'm really hoping the temperature won't rise anymore.

Anyway, back to the actual topic, NS. NS's been ok so far. It might sound a little stupid or even crazy to some, but I do love the training. I've always liked physical training, so yup =). Foot drills are something I'm not as good with, and I didn't really like it initially but I'm slowly liking it now =). So basically, NS's all good, NO. Why? Because some of the people simply sucks. I finally understand why Wee Quan used to tell me that I'd get to see all sorts of people in NS. I've met some really nice people, made some good friends. However, some people are just plain selfish. Seriously. You get to see the real "wayang". There was this incident where I was sweeping the floor. All of a sudden this person decided to help me with it, when he usually doesn't bother helping with area cleaning. I was happy he's finally bothering about it, but when I turned around I realised why. My sergeant was at the door looking at us. The moment my sergeant left, he immediately "returned" the broom back to me =).

My sergeants are all pretty nice and reasonable, although they are very strict sometimes. Well, they have to be strict right? Anyway, I respect all my sergeants a lot, although it's been just 2 weeks.

As one of my friends told me, "If you can survive 3 years in poly you should be able to survive 2 years in NS." Pretty true statement!

Anyway, I miss my family, Geri, and friends! A lot a lot a lot! When I was sick yesterday, my mum and Geri were really nice. Thanks =)! Geri also made some cookies for me, although I only had 1 and a 1/2 cookie because I was sick =(.

Alright, I think I'm going back to sleep now. Take care everyone =).

5 Days Left...

Raj entered NS last Friday, followed by Maclean on Saturday, and I'm next. It's a really weird feeling. Maclean called and told me it's been fun for him so far and stuff, so yup ^_^. Anyway, it's not about the training or anything that really bothers me, it's the fact that I won't be able to spend any time with my loved ones. I think I'm really going to miss everyone, especially my parents and Geri =(.

I don't think I'll be blogging much over the next few days. Wednesday's graduation, then I'm going to have as much fun as I can have on Thursday and Friday, then I'm in =). Even now it feels weird not seeing Maclean or Raj online. Anyway, to all my friends, have fun while you can! Especially the guys. After NS, most of us will either be studying or working, and either way it won't be very fun I think. So yup, enjoy while you can.

To Maclean and Raj, when you book out on the 17th and read this (if you don't get confined =P), all the best in NS. I'll probably be seeing the two of you around, since we're all in BMTC School 1. Going to be funny seeing everyone's hairless head (actual head, not dickhead). Please control your temper and ego respectively =).

To Gregory, stop being to pedo =P. People change, so sometimes it's better not to cling too much to the past. Anyway it'd be good if you can be a little more serious with stuff sometimes =). Have fun till September 9! It'll be your turn to enter NS then ^_^.

To Nicholas, all the best for your bowling tournaments. Control your temper a little sometimes. I've a screwed up temper as well but it has more or less soften over the years. Have fun till July =P. Damn you'll still POP before me anyway =(.

To Amir, study hard, clear this semester, and enter NS as soon as possible! All the best with whichever girl you're trying to chase, but stay focused on stuff like studies and your drumming. What's right for you might not be right for her, so yup. Cheer up, don't be so down over girl stuff!

To Rayhan, stay cool =P. See you in July! Hope you save up enough money soon to buy your electric guitar. Maclean's bunk mate brought a guitar into NS! It's allowed!

To all my HDKs, I doubt you'll read this, but if you do, have fun in NS! Kelvin, don't let the BGR stuff bother you too much while you're in NS. Go for the best while in NS, I'm sure you'll make it. Joven, you're already in NS, so I don't know what to say. Hope you have fun =D! Boon Tiong, sorry we're entering before you =P. Have fun till September! Hong Wen, thanks for the help with the lock. Good luck with your girl! Anyway, you're also in NS already, so just hope you're having fun!

To my sister, please be a good girl while I'm away =).

To my dearest Geri, you know I'll miss you! I'd rather tell you in person or in a letter, this is just too public for mushy stuff =P. I love you! *hugs*

To all my friends, I'm going to miss you all! Sorry I can't list everyone out, don't know what to say. All the best! =)

Anyway, the following are some pictures we took before Maclean and Raj booked in (forgive the quality. night time + handphone camera + imageshack resizing = not very good quality)...

















That's all =)! Too bad that Jeremy and Rayhan had to leave early, and Nicholas couldn't join us =(.

Rant Max

I don't fucking need a lecture from any of you, neither do I need reasons, excuses, or anything like that. All I know is to quarrel over money is pathetic, doesn't matter who starts it first. You know it yourself. Great. All these things before NS. Maybe my past life was really fucked up. I must have killed someone at the very least. All these are lessons, lessons, and lessons. I like learning.

I just fucking reached home at 2.40am or something, I'm god damn tired, I'm not feeling well, tomorrow's full of plans, and life is still shit. But I'm not going to fucking blame it on:

1. Parents
2. Friends
3. ANYTHING AT ALL

Things happen for a reason. Learn to accept it rather than flare up and blame everyone around you and whatnots. Life's bad as it is, don't make it worse for others. People who are selfish, please take note. Don't use others as a tool as well, be it for money, for your own perverse pleasure, don't. It's plain wrong. Say what you want about morals. If you think it's right, then ask yourself, "Would your mother or father feel proud about it if they know?" The fucking answer is, NO, so shut your fucking mouth before someone acts all tough about not being able to forgive when he's a fucked up wussy deep down inside. I guess when wussies act tough they start sounding like pussies. They go ROAR ROAR, but when you face them they can only purr like the pussy they are. And no, this post is not directed at anyone, but everyone. Not just the two of my closer friends who are in some dispute over money, but at some other people who just don't have the guts to speak up and rather hide in the corner acting all religious, saying their sacred prayers and God knows what. Look, PRAY ALL YOU WANT. Pray and do nothing. For what? I despise some of you so much I wished I had never met you. Really. Pathetic, selfish, balls suckers. You don't even deserve 1/2 the credit you have. You don't EVEN TRY TO UNDERSTAND FOR YOUR FRIEND who had to take all the shit you created. I've to flush everything, use acid when the pipes got stuck, to clean your fucking shit. You know what I'm typing everything I'm typing because I have the guts to say this, and if you're fucking offended then you're obviously retarded. Because this is my blog, I can act tough all I want just like you do. The only difference is I never write what I can't do. Red wine is good for your body.

I don't give a fuck about many things nowadays, probably because most of them aren't even worth bothering about even if you're paid to do that. Because humans are at the end of the day, selfish and pathetic. They think only for themselves. "I'M IN PAIN BECAUSE I BROKE UP WITH MY GIRLFRIEND SO I'M GOING TO ATTITUDE ALL MY FRIENDS TO LET THEM KNOW HOW MUCH PAIN I'M IN." FUCK YOU. No matter how fucked up your life is, don't FUCKING EVER take it out on your friends or family. THAT'S WHY I have a blog to write whatever I want, without giving a damn who reads it, loves it or hates it. It's a damned public diary. Meant for people to read and comment. And whatever. Doesn't really matter. Wallow in your self-pity, you think you're so damned pitiful? Sometimes I feel that way too, but I NEVER take it out on my close ones. Look at the people around you, some of them are your age and dying of cancer. Of whatever. And you think you're so pitiful? Then some fucking smart ass will ask, "What about the person who's really suffering the most in the world, who is he going to look at to console himself?" Look, I don't know how someone's ever going to gain that title of "Most Suffering Man/Woman Ever", but stop using as an excuse. Because if you're reading this you OBVIOUSLY have an internet connection, which means you're at least able to have your meals. Are you suffering that much? You fucking POS?

I'll like to end this with a good night to all of you. Please make friends, not enemies, while you're still alive. All of us lose our tempers sometimes, all of us quarrel over minor things like whose penis is larger sometimes, but that's not worth losing a friendship over. Don't repeat the past mistakes. I've learnt, that your worst enemy today, might have been your mother in your past life. Yes, religious ranting. We're all going to die one day, when your enemy's dead it doesn't matter how much you hate him, you can't kill him anymore. So why hate to being with? Why bother with these minor things? You see, I've made most of these mistakes before, and I don't wish to see anyone I know repeating any of them at all. Life's too short, too precious. Don't mess it up. There's this saying that if you dislike someone over something, it's probably because you can't accept that that something is a part of yourself. Because you don't have the courage to admit you're similar to him in some ways, you choose the cowardly way of disliking him. People sitting on the fence, time to take sides because one day, the fence going's to collapse. Too many backbone-less people are on it. It can't handle the weight anymore.

Minor Things

My uncle passed away around 8 hours ago, sometime around 7pm on the 28th of May. Although I've never been really close to him, I feel sad whenever I hear about someone passing away. I used to dislike him, largely because he caused a lot of trouble to my parents, and betrayed my father a couple of times. I guess I was naive back then, probably just needed someone to put the blame on. Right now I don't really care what he did.

Back then I always forced myself to excel at whatever I did, because I wanted to succeed one day and return the favour to whoever has caused me so much shit. But now I don't care anymore. I feel like an idiot for not being able to let go when needed to, for not being able to forgive.

When I saw him at the hospital a few days ago, it was a really weird feeling. A part of me really felt sorry for him, but another part of me told me I shouldn't care. At the end of the say I realised I was a fool. It didn't matter what he did. The fact was he did the things he did, probably because he had things he wanted to protect as well. All I'm wishing for now is for him to finally find some peace. When matters of life and death are at stake, what is hate? It's nothing.

On to another topic, a certain good friend of mine has been facing shit from a couple of cowards recently. I don't know what to say to these people anymore. They've hurt more people than they've protected. Yet they speak so bravely on their blogs, on MSN Messenger, on whatever. But they don't have the guts to even open their mouth in person, or even pick up the phone. You know, if you're a coward, don't act tough. You look stupid. Sometimes, maybe you should take a step back and reflect on what your actions have caused others.

To one of you, you've caused an entire clique to break up. You did nothing to stop it. You even acted like you were a victim. I don't really care about that anymore, but please don't repeat the same mistake, like what you're doing now.

To another one of you, you've spoilt someone's reputation in school, when he's tried so hard to cover up for you back in the CENT Club days. You act all religious and nice, yet admit that you'd suck up just to avoid trouble. I also know what you've said to others about me behind my back, and kept quiet. Why?

I know the latter part of this blog doesn't seem to make any sense or anything at all, but I'm really tired. Mentally, emotionally, physically. If you want trouble, just admit it. If you want peace, please do what it takes. Why are you all such hypocrites? I don't even look forward to graduation anymore. If it weren't for some of my friends, and the thought of my mother and Geri smiling when I'm on stage, I wouldn't want to turn up at all. All these political bullshit backstabbing is just so dumb. I guess this is the world after all. Senseless. Self-righteous selfish people.

But you know what? All these are nothing when compared to death. Really. Why play all these childish games when you could spend that time making someone happy? Why?

=)

People will forever care only about their own problems, their own motives, their own feelings. I barely have any time left to enjoy my life before NS, and everyday I've to face some family shit. You think it's so god damn easy trying to keep all to myself and keeping silent all these while? When father makes noise I keep it away from mother. When mother makes noise I keep it away from father. When sister's giving problems I've to take all the shit from everyone. What kind of family is this? What is the purpose of a family if there's so much more pain than joy? What's the point of loving your parents when you don't even get appreciated? Why do people always lose their temper over the stupidest and smallest of things, such as not wanting to have dinner till a while later. Is that something worth losing your temper over? Is that an example that I should follow? And people always say I've a bad temper. Hasn't it become so much better over the years? What else do you want? I simply forgot that you had already bought dinner, and I was eating the cookies before I called you anyway. Why are you so pissed off just because I didn't want to have dinner till a while later? Why must you behave like I did it on purpose to piss you off?

DO YOU SERIOUSLY THINK I ENJOY BEING IN THE MIDDLE OF ALL THESE? I CAN'T EVEN ENJOY MYSELF BEFORE NS. FUCKING HELL I THINK NS WOULD BE MUCH MORE OF A CHALET THAN THIS HELL IS. You don't understand anything. You only want things your way. Have I ever lost my temper at you unnecessarily? Why must you always look at all the small things and lose your temper over them? Just like the divorce. Why can't you remember each other for the good times? Why must you all blame each other for the divorce? Fucking shit sometimes I think I'm better off dead than to be here. Since it seems like I'm always the cause of everything. You tell me this is a good lesson for me so I don't repeat this mistake in future. I feel like this is a lesson to remind me of all the evil things humans are capable of. Why preach what you can't practise? I HATE WRITING SO MUCH SHIT IN THIS BLOG, I WISH YOU COULD UNDERSTAND ALL OF THESE. But you won't. And if I'm going to bottle up any more feelings it's going to drive me insane. So I've no choice but to write. I hate taking out my own problems on others, because that would remind me of how you had chosen to react many a times. This blog is like a gateway for me. A way for me to express myself. Not to anyone, but just to relieve that little bit of stress and tension. That little bit of hope that someone out there is probably reading this and cheering me on.

I really hate the way things are with my life. What do you understand? If buying dinner for me would cause so much trouble I'd rather not have dinner in future. To make a mountain out of a molehill, to cause so much pain when you could've just STFU and used a plaster. WHY? Is watching your own son suffer on your behalf such a joyful feeling? What are you trying to teach me? What is this society becoming? You are SO GOD DAMN NICE TO ME WHEN YOU'RE HAPPY, but look at yourself when you're pissed off. You don't even give a shit about my feelings. I'm your son so I've to take all this? I've never felt more exhausted, more tired in my life. Sometimes I wonder if I'm just a tool for the both of you. Someone you can be proud of for the sake of your own pride and ego. I might seem like I've everything but the truth is I have close to nothing already. The Gods, the whatever you want to call it higher beings, or fate, or anything at all, I've been robbed of so many stuff that rightfully belongs to me I feel like I've nothing anymore. Like an object filled with the desire to just succeed, to prove everyone wrong, to prove my own worth.

So time and again no matter how fucking shitty I feel I'm just going to sleep and wake up trying to feel better the next day. Or I'll be taking it out on my weights, or sometimes someone who doesn't deserve the shit from me. You told me to enjoy life before NS. Yet you're the two stopping it from happening. Maybe it's better if I wasn't born to begin with. They say life is wonderful because of the fact that it can be taken away anytime. You know, sometimes I think people will prefer it being taken away. I want to believe that life is wonderful too, but how can I believe in it when the people closest to me are showing me otherwise?

Sometimes when you really want to say something hurtful, or punch someone, look at yourself in the mirror and do it first. Do you think everyone can take the shit you throw at them? Even the mirror will break when you punch it. Life is even more fragile than a mirror. You think I can take it? All the time? Have I not tried to understand you time and again?

Tomorrow will be a better day. Tonight I'll be haunted by the demons of the past again. One day I'll stop blogging I'm sure, that'll be the day I'm completely void of any emotions. Pain, pleasure, all will be a thing of the past.

Lactic Acid Is Good After All

LINK

^_^

~!@#$%^&*()_+

And you ask yourself why you're smiling
All that you're holding on to is fading
Why should you give a damn about anyone?
When no one spares a thought for you?

I don't know what the fuck I'm writing actually. Lots of things have been happening. Things just don't go all well for me. Whenever I'm happy, there's still something sad/unhappy that'll just appear in my mind and spoil my mood. On the contrast, whenever I'm sad, I find it difficult to remember something happy to cheer myself up. Today I watched, "I Not Stupid Too/2", yes, a little old I know, but this was the first time I watched it. There's this part that the little boy says "FAMILY - Father And Mother, I Love You." I think it's pretty nice and meaningful =). Those people that actually read this blog and care, thank you =).

My family problems have been affecting me for many years already. 4 years at least. I'm tired already. I just feel so god damn fucking tired and just giving all these shit up. Just ignore everything. Everytime my father calls me I know there's going to be a problem. Heck, 7/10 times there's a problem. I already know it, yet I still pick up the phone. Not because I want to, or need to, but because I have to. Because as a son it is only right that you respect your parents and pick up their phone calls when they call you and whatnots. But sometimes I ask myself, can I choose NOT to pick the call up? There're many times I convinced myself to do just that, but everytime I just feel so shitty I'll call back within 15 minutes, which defeats the purpose. All I'm asking for is a simple happy life for now. Like, I know not everything's alright, but at least don't add anymore problems for me, or remind me of things that I'd rather not remember. I don't understand why my father always feels that my mother's playing mind games with him. I don't, really. Because from what I see, all my mother wants is to live each day peacefully and happily. I also don't understand why my mother's blaming my father for so many fucking things till today, because from what I feel, she should just forgive and forget and move on. Isn't that what all adults teach their kids? I love my parents a lot, really. I also understand they're doing what they feel is best. I think it's because I understand so much that it causes so much pain for myself. They don't understand what it's like to be on the receiving end of everything, to be the punching bag for everything.

Regarding my sister, I no longer have much to say for/about her. Yesterday was my father's and my paternal grandmother's lunar birthday (yes, mother and son has the same birth day, same birth time even), and my sister wasn't there, and she didn't bother contacting us the whole day. She had earlier (at least 4 days in advance) promised she would turn up. She later called us and said she got called up for some last minute work as EXPO. To which I asked, "Can't you at least drop us an sms?" To which she replied, "Orh." The weird thing is, my friend saw her in Simei later on. I can accept that she went to Simei after her work, but then my father's tenant saw her return to his house around 6pm and changing clothes. We've been trying to get her since like 4pm or something. I'm sick and tired of everything related to her. I can't wait for the day her friends vanish from my life. Why do people always throw away everything they have and then claim they've nothing?

All I'm asking for is my father to have a better temper, especially when it comes to my sister. I'm always getting all the shit when he can't find my sister. Maybe I should for once disappear as well. I'm also hoping my sister will one day wake up and walk a proper path of life, instead of wasting her life away like this. Last but not least, I hope my mother will one day talk to my father again. Myself, I just want to be happy. Is it that difficult?

On to another topic, I've always been asking myself why is it that the education system in Singapore is so unfair. JC students get to travel cheaper than Poly students. Why? I shan't complain, especially when those students from private institutions don't even get any concession passes at all. Are we considered lousier than JC students or something? Then you're going to get the explanations, that Polys are independent bodies, bla bla and bla. That's the Polys' problem, we're still students! Then you get those occasional JC students who'll say, "Poly students sucks. They're stupid, etc." Anyway, it should be "Poly students suck." without the "s". You'll also get those Poly students who'll say, "ITE students are dumb." and shit. If bringing down others makes you feel a little better yourself, I think your life's better off ended. I know I'm going off-topic =\.

Then again, I think the way that some people carry themselves are simply so screwed it's little wonder why others look down on them. The sad thing is an entire school/institution will get looked down on just because of a few bad eggs.

Well =(.

"People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime."

I came across this quote while surfing randomly just now. I think it's nice =).

Life Is Just A Flickering Flame...

I think it really is. You can be healthy and all one day, and lying in bed with Death beside you the next. I'm just glad Roy's ok now, but I was reading the Neowin.net Forums just now, and someone who's just 24 years old this year is currently being screened for cancer. He's just 24, just 4 years or so older than I am. I don't know him at all, but I still feel really sad for him. I hope he's going to be fine, I hope he doesn't get cancer. The following is his post...

So yeah, after my job going wrong and every flat i get having a problem since my move to London, i am now being screened for cancer.

Strange thing is, im a 24 year old man and i am being tested for cancer in my breast.

Basically had blood coming out of my nipple yesterday for no reason. I hadent scratched it or caught it at all, it just started bleeding. So i went to the doctor today and he is referring me huh.gif its not the responce i thought i would get.

Im keeping my head up though and getting on as best i can. Thinking of how in a couple years i should hopefully have my own house and morgage with kids running round and my girl will be my wife and my cancer will have been given the obvious all clear.

so, yeah, thats my latest news on my life

Rich

I always think about that too, about how in a couple of years I'd be out of NS, completing my studies, and doing well in the working world, with a sweet girlfriend beside me, and finally a happy family with kids running around, in a cosy little house that's well-renovated, specially tuned for comfort and warmth. I really do. But you never know what's going to happen. I remember the time I had a cyst in my buttocks, and had to undergo an operation to remove it. After removing it, the doctor told me, "Come back in a week for the report, we'll also check if it's cancerous." The week went by with me worrying everyday. I don't know what happens after a person dies. Am I just going to rot away, and be forgotten? Or is there really a heaven and a hell? As a Buddhist I do believe in reincarnation. If I were to reincarnate, what would I be? Where would I be? What about my dear ones who will forever be without me?

I don't know the answers to any of them. I just know life's really fragile. And because life's so fragile I'd really love to be happy every day. I want to die happy and smiling. Sometimes when you look at the bigger things in life, things like breakups and family hatred and whatnots don't really matter anymore. Nothing really matters anymore once you're gone anyway. So, before the wind blows your flame away, keep on glowing, keep on being the light for others. I think a life's really worth something if you live it to help others, to save others.

For those who are concerned, check out the thread at the following link:
http://www.neowin.net/forum/index.php?showtopic=462032

I really hope he'll come through this alright. Let's all take a moment to pray/wish/bless/hope for his well-being. Alright? =)

Optimist...?

Seriously, how am I supposed to be an optimist when life's been so screwed up? I'm entering NS soon, and my sister's still ~!@#$. I don't know what to do, really. Am I supposed to be worrying for her and my family every single night while I'm in NS?

Anyway, Roy's currently in hospital, suspected of meningitis. Let's all hope that he recovers soon, alright? =)

Mothers' Day & Stuff

Mothers' Day has come and gone. Geri and I got my mum a couple of things. Firstly, I got her this really cute tissue box =P. Basically it's a monkey sitting on some cylinder thingy, and you put the tissues in the cylinder thingy. To take the tissues, you take it out from the monkey's p*nis! =P It's really cute. Will take a picture soon if I remember =). Secondly, Geri and I baked for her this chocolate cake. It was fun, although Geri did 99.5% of the work =P. Thanks Darling! Thirdly, Geri got her a rose as well =). I guess that's about it. It was fun though. Also, to celebrate the special occasion with my maternal grandmother, we went to eat at some steamboat restaurant called Happy Place (or something) in Bugis. The food was good, but I felt the price wasn't justified. Well it was really fun though. Had a good time eating. Sadly, my sister didn't come with us, and I don't think she got anything for my mother either =(.

I planned to get something for Geri's mum all along but kept forgetting =(. In the end, she said that we'd share the presents she got for her mum =). Basically, I think it's a blusher and a flower (rose?). Well, at least she got something! It's the thought that counts =P. Also, my mother helped me with the presents for both my paternal and maternal grandmothers. My paternal grandma got a towel, while my maternal grandma got bedsheets! With my mother's help =P.

It wasn't exactly a tiring day in itself, but I was pretty exhausted due to not having enough sleep the previous day. Anyway, during Mothers' Day, I suddenly wished my parents were back together. You know, usually dads help their kids in getting presents for their mums =). Nothing beats having a happy family, I think. Really. What could be better than having a HOME to return to? No matter how screwed up your day is, you return home to a family who is always there for you. Well, my parents are always there for me I guess, but not in a united kind of way. Haha =).

Anyway, that was Mothers' Day for me. An occasion that's supposed to be important. Sadly, in today's society, most kids don't give a shit anymore. I see people who're like 1 or 2 years younger than me having fun with their friends, and whatnots. Where's Mothers' Day for them? Thanks to various circumstances, both internal (family) and external (society), I've grown to REALLY DESPISE kids who:

1. Don't give a shit about their family.
2. Act tough with their scrawny bodies.
3. Act tough because they're like 20 years old while their friends are like 12? Big brother? More like childish =).
4. Cheapen themselves by dressing up in a way that says "I need you in me."
5. Spend EVERYDAY at the coffeeshop without giving a damn if their parents are worried or not.
6. Don't seem to think about their future. Basically, girls who seem to think that somehow a Mr Perfect is going to appear. Look, bitch, even if he appears, his parents are going to condemn you for being so useless. Also, you're going to bring suffering to him. Is this love? Next, guys who seem to think that somehow they'll make enough cash to survive. Yeah, it's pieces of junk like you that make your parents sad. You make enough money just to survive. At the age of 25, you're probably still depending on your parents, when you should be supporting them. It's your fault, because you DID NOT TRY.
7. Blames everyone else for everything but themselves.
8. Talk about love every single minute of the day as though it's the ONLY thing you need in your life.
9. Show off their extensive ex-girlfriends/boyfriends list, when the fact is they've relationships that are so pathetic it lasts only one day (maybe less), or relationships so useless they've been together for 4 years but do not know each other's birthday.
10. Believe that their friends are right in everything, and family wrong in everything. Talk about true friends and shit when they don't respect their family. Look, you bloody pieces of crap, it doesn't matter how fucked up your family is. The key word is, respect. Secondly, if you don't even value your own flesh and blood, how the fuck is it possible for you to value your friends?

I guess that's a quick summary. A message to all these assholes, wake up. You've a life, live it instead of spending it on your pathetic wants.

Next, I'd like to advertise a product called VSafe (some insecticide). I got to know about this product while browsing around in VR-Zone's forums the other day (LINK). I bought it today from NTUC after I saw this frigging cockroach in my room yesterday, that I tried to catch but lost it mysteriously. Anyway, I got the spray, sprayed my mother's room, and just about everywhere (walls, floors, ceilings), and started seeing many small insects crawling out. Finally, I decided to try in my room. I was just spraying on Geri's laptop bag, and I SAW THE FRIGGING COCKROACH on my speakers. There was no way the cockroach came from outside, as my windows were closed. SO YUP. It's the cockroach from yesterday. I guess the Neem (or whatever) in the product screwed up the cockroach senses, causing it to come out of hiding. Anyway, I going to bring this VSafe into NS for sure.

Last but not least, after a few days of testing, I can conclude that Geri's computer is more or less stable (hardware). Prime95, Toast, CPUBurn, memtest86+, SeaTools, it passed all! I've returned her the laptop today =P. She's really happy! Very adorable =P! Well, well =). Tomorrow I'm going to get another laptop (same as Geri's) on behalf of my uncle =\. I'm a busy man I guess =P.

Rotten

I've been wanting to write for the past 2 days or so but I'm just so damn tired, disheartened, and sick. Sick of all these shit, and sick, literally, with sore throat, and now flu. I decided to write this because if I don't do it now I doubt I ever will.

As I said in some of my posts, my TP life was some of the best and worst times in my life. You know, I really miss the good times. But no way in hell would I want the bad times to repeat itself. Firstly, there was this guy, whom I really thought would make a good friend. Sadly, people are selfish. Save your ass before others, I guess. I can let it go I guess, but something I heard recently from a really good friend of mine got me pissed all over again. Don't act so fucking righteous and soft in front of others, when you're just a damned hypocrite who can't be bothered about anyone else. I feel like an idiot for hoping that things would work out among us time and again. You know what, I don't give a fucking shit anymore. You, only know how to wayang, and tripod (a term taught to me by Wee Quan). Basically, wayang means act. Tripod means suck up and carry people's balls. I hate to admit, but wayang and tripod have gotten you quite far, hasn't it?

Then there's this thing that I really wanted to have. I was hoping for at least a chance, but no, I wasn't even called up for the preliminary interviews. Time and again, politics have proved itself to be a far greater power than effort. Great. Some of my closer friends will know what I'm talking about. I don't, and can't, elaborate here for certain reasons. I felt devastated when I got the fucked up news though. Yes, I did get something. No, it wasn't what I was hoping for. I felt like a fool for working so hard for something, only to let people who can wayang and tripod take it away. True, some of them were really deserving of whatever they got, but I'm sure there are many others who didn't get what they deserve.

Thankfully, I've really great parents. My mother consoled me a lot, I know she was hurting inside. I fucking wanted to bring home something that would've made her proud of me. My father, tried cheering me up. Come to think of it he's actually quite concerned about me, just not as much as for my sister, but I'm happy already =). Anyway, I'm only happy that I got what I had without wayang-ing or tripod-ing my way through, but then again, it's a consolation. Geri was great too =). Thanks darling ^^. Some others said some meaningful stuff to me as well, and hey, thanks!

Anyway, I'm feeling much better already, but what has happened recently has made me remember why I'm so distrustful of others in the first place. I guess that's all for now, whatever it is I'd rather be myself =). Also, Nicholas, Raj and Amir will be leaving for Thailand in a few hours' time. Let's all hope they've an enjoyable holiday! They'll be back on the 15th. On that very day, Jeremy and his Jojo will be leaving for Hong Kong! ^_^

Time & Tide Wait For No Man, Screwed Society

I'll be going into NS in approximately a month's time. Time seems to have sped up. Just the other day I was running an event, and it's been 2 weeks since. There's really a lot of things I want to do, I think I'm just going to withdraw some money from my bank, and use it just for the sole purpose of enjoying my life. I've been planning to meet up with friends whom I've not met for quite some time. My childhood/primary school/secondary school friends. Till now, I've only met one though, Poh Tiam, and that was only because my computer went down. I've been trying so damn hard to find time, but either my or their plans aren't on good terms with time. What can I say? We're all approaching/past 20 now, and slowly but surely growing old and becoming real adults. Sad to say, it usually means some of us start focusing more on making money than keeping friendships. All I'm asking for now, is for time to let me spend just a day with each of these people I'd REALLY REALLY like to meet and catch up with. To be honest, I've been wanting to meet most of these friends since the day my school ended, but my timetable simply doesn't allow it. Now with NO events in sight, and NS approaching, I simply MUST meet them soon.

Secondly, I really would want to spend more time with Geri doing all the things she wants, like taking her to KTV, or ice-skating, and stuff. She deserves all that, really. She's been really sweet, and I'm really lucky to have her by my side these few months =). I don't know what else to write. I suck at writing nice/happy stuff =(. <3 you!

To my dearest people, the following quote is for you:

It takes a couple seconds to say Hello, but forever to say Goodbye. - Anonymous

Now, on to another thing I simply feel like writing about. Around a month or less ago, there was an article in my local newspaper/tabloid "The New Paper". It was an article about wives who go around having one-night stands with other guys (or girls) despite having a loving husband. Before I continue, I must say I'm writing this from memory, so most of the quotes would not be 100% accurate, but they have a similar meaning to the one in the tabloid.

One of my favourite quote from that article was "I love my husband, but one man is not enough." or something to that extent. The bitch in question also stated "Most of my friends agree with me on this kind of lifestyle." It made me wonder, do these people also cheat on one another? It must be really cool for that to happen, considering the fact that they support these kind of lifestyle. The animal in question also said, "I used to fling a lot before I got married. Then I stopped. I felt guilty when I started having ONS again, but now the guilt is gone." I'm surprised she can even feel guilt.

Most of these bitches, I mean "loving" wives, are financially independent. I think it makes them feel like they can do anything since they're still able to support themselves even if they divorce. After all, the husband's purpose is just to spoil them. Of course, there are always two sides to a coin. There was an article on the next page that focused on the guys. Basically, they interviewed a single guy who has a fetish for married women. He's basically saying what their attitude is like, how some of them even has the guts to introduce him as a friend to their husbands, as though nothing ever happened. Anyway, this guy sounded all cool and shit, "I'm not worried about getting STDs." Seriously, I hope you get one and die alone =). Even your little penis will abandon you.

It's really interesting seeing all these highly capable and financially independent people degrade themselves to become animals just to satisfy that urge. Maybe education really makes one dumber. Where's the morals? What if you go fool around, only to bring home some STDs for your husband/wife. What kind of kids will you raise? From what I know, you'll probably have a kid, throw him to a child development/care centre to raise bright kids, and go on fooling around. I'm beginning to see the future where these people walk around on all fours, with their tongues hanging out, and their dicks and pussies dripping, humping just about everything they see. Really, I see it. Maybe they'll even grow fur over their entire body, and use their moans to communicate.

Sorry for the rant, I'm not open-minded enough, I guess. If open-mindedness equates to behaving like animals, I'd rather not be open-minded =). Good night everyone.

Friends...

During the time my computer was down, I realised a lot of things. Or rather, re-realised a lot of things. Everytime my friends' computers are down, I'll try to help them. If I can I'll go over to their place, troubleshoot, and try my best to fix things. I'm not trying to say I'm good or nice or anything, but the thing is, for a friend, I'll try my best. There're many times I've stayed till 2am++ just to fix a friend's computer, and then take a cab home. Paid by myself. I don't complain, nor mind. Yet, when my computer was down, the people that I thought could help me refused to. All I needed was to borrow their system for an hour or so. So I can test my own hardware in their setup. Yet they refused to. It's sad when your friends "appreciate" you this way. Well, well. Thankfully, some of my friends came to my rescue. You know who you are, thank you, really. If you hadn't lent me your system I would have never found out the problem. Thanks for taking the trouble to drive all the way here from your house.

To my dearest Geri, thanks for being so patient and watching me troubleshoot my computer instead of spending time with you. Sorry =).

I don't feel like writing much recently, so I'll leave it at this. Just wanted to express my gratitude to those who were there.

Note: My computer is a very important tool in my life. I use it for my programming, and for gaming. Even more importantly, it's my only way to contact some friends. Last but not least, I like news in general (be it technological, political, etc.), and I use the internet all the time to keep up to date.

Computer Down =(

I finally got my computer back up after 2.5 days of downtime. Suspected problem is bad motherboard. Anyway, I'm back!

There's a lot on my mind now, will write another day. Anyway, Jimmy's an asshole.

OCD

I think I might have OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). Seriously. I always have this feeling that I haven't locked the house door, when I've already done so. As a result, I always end up returning home just to check, before leaving again. Sometimes I manage to convince myself that I've locked the door, but most of the time I fail at it. I also have this stupid habit of checking that the taps are closed, or that the refridgerator's door is closed, constantly. When doing my project reports, every single spacing/indentation/line break/etc. has to be perfect. One spacing off and I feel uneasy about submitting it. Damn =(.

Anyway, why am I writing about this? Because this has time and again, caused me to overdo stuffs that has led to bad/disastrous results. For example, I got a brand new black housing yesterday for my N70. It fitted well, everything's great. But somehow I managed to scratch the screen. Instead of simply ignoring it (which I guess is what most people will do), I had to use Brasso and fix it (it works, I've done it more times than I care to remember). All was good. Until I decided that the alignment of the stupid rubbery/spongy substance behind the housing wasn't straight enough. So what did I do? I took off the whole thing. To make matters worse, there were some small remaining scratches. So I decided to Brasso it again. Brasso, somehow, caused the glue to melt/lose its strength. As a result, the screen part of the housing came off (no glue to hold it, I guess). Great. Instead of simply calling it a day (1AM+), I had to go down to 7-Eleven, buy some superglue, and come back up. After sticking it, I was a happy boy. Not. The glue got onto the housing itself (f*ck), and now my housing looks ugly. Why the f*ck did I do all that when I could've just accepted/ignored the scratches? I don't know.

Also, while waiting for my housing to arrive in my mailbox, I constantly went down to check my mailbox. Like once every hour or so. It's not so much of me being excited about it. It's more like I want it now because I can't wait.

So there you have it. I think I've OCD. If it gets any worser than it is I'm going to seek a doctor.

Nokia N72, N73, N93

Really nice phones! Check this site out!

http://enews.nokia-asia.com/cgi-bin16/DM/y/n2wa0T6kR40Hjq0Kaza0Ec

Anyway, to be fair, I think Nokia's standard of service is dropping (in general. The NCC at Suntec's good!).

Changed Blog Song

Armor For Sleep - Kind Of Perfect

can i just be something
somewhere in your room
but you wont notice
maybe ill be paper
or books thrown on your floor
move me when you want to
ill lay where you put me
in your VCR
if i become a cassete
or on top of your computer
if thats where i would fit
then so be it
but things cant be perfect
all the time
that i know
sometimes we just have to let some things go
i will not say one word
ill just hang around
i wont annoy you at all
when you move out ill stay
until im thrown away
but then it wont matter
thens cant be perfect
all the time
that i know
sometimes we just have to let some things go
because
things cant be perfect
all the time
that i know
sometimes we just have to let somethings go
i promise to stop now
to stop now
i promse to stop now
to stop now
but things cant be perfect
all the time
that i know
sometimes we just have to let some things go
things cant be perfect
all the time
that i know
sometimes we just have to let some things go
letting go is my life
ill be on my way

Source: SongMeanings

As you can see (and listen), it's a great song =). For some reason this song makes me feel really sad and all =(.

End of Orientation

Hello all, the orientation has finally ended =(. Although Engineering did not win anything this year, it was really fun! I wished I had more time to spend with the various departments though =(. All in all, I would say this is one of the best camp/event I've ever been in. The committee's simply great =). Anyway, I'll write more about it soon, really tired now... Congrats to Business for winning the trophy yet again!

Anyway, HOPEFULLY, I'll be able to meet my committee members and mentors up soon =). Thanks to Darling Geri for giving me a surprise visit during the camp, although I couldn't even spend 2 minutes with you =(. Thanks!

Once again, thanks to everyone who played his/her part! I'm sad that we did not win, but we all had fun, definitely!

Busy Week

Alright, this is going to be one of hell of a busy week. This week is the week some of my friends and I have been waiting for. Finally, it's the Freshmen Orientation Camp for the freshmen in our school! It'll be taking place from Wednesday (19/04/2006) to Friday (21/04/2006) =). Hopefully things will go really well! The committee has been putting in a lot a lot a lot of effort, and I really hope everything will turn out well! Of course, there're some problems here and there, but I'll leave that for a later time =).

Anyway, I'll be sleeping in school from Tuesday to Friday. I'm also waking up around 7AM later, prepare, leave house around 8.15AM, go to the bank and withdraw some money, and then meet Maclean at 9.30AM (at SLS), before going down to Mustafa Centre, where I'll probably be getting the Philips Xenium 9@98 phone in preparing for my National Service. In addition, it can serve as my backup phone in case my phone spoils =). After getting the phone, I'll have to rush down to school (by 12PM latest), where there'll be some rehearsal for the coming FOC.

Geri will also be officially starting school today, so all the best to her =P! *hugs*

I guess that's all for now. Good night =).

Silverstein - Smashed Into Pieces

Whatever

I've been listening to Silverstein a lot lately (thanks to Gregory for introducing them to me), and I can really relate to a lot of their songs. They do not necessarily reflect my current state, but looking back on the past few years or so, these songs seriously strike a chord in me. Death Cab For Cutie's a pretty good band too, with really amazing songs =).

I don't know why I'm blogging, I just felt like writing something. Life's going good on the surface, but I think there's a lot of shit within me that I've to settle soon (before my NS). I'm still pretty worried for a lot of things, especially with regards to my family. I don't know how I'm supposed to enjoy NS when I've worry about my sister's relationship with my parents everyday. I'm tired of many things, really. Since the day I stepped into TP, I've never really had much time to stop and think. Think about things that are happening. Even if I had, I seldom found the answers. TP was one hell of a rollercoaster ride. I've met some people whom I can proudly say will remain lifelong friends. I've also met some people that made me wonder what friends really are for. People who'll get you into the deepest shit, and disappear, leaving you to take all the blame. The sad thing is most of them don't realise, or admit it. They only care for themselves. They only want to avoid trouble.

Have any of you have ever watched "Monster" the anime or read the manga? Inside this story there's a character called Johan. It's a really good story, and I think Johan's not entirely wrong all the time. With a world that sick, obviously you would want to destroy everything =).

I think I can understand why people choose to become hermits. Why bother facing all these bullshit when you can choose to face nothing at all? Appreciate nature as it is, stop the noise pollution... I generally dislike noise and crowds. I find them irritating. It makes me hot-tempered, it spoils my mood. I guess I'm pretty anti-social deep inside.

I'm also worried for Geri. She's starting school soon, and I really hope she does well =). According to our promise, she's supposed to do better than me in her studies =)! Haha =P. Idiot =P. Anyway, I can't exactly be there for her during her examination period, as I'll be in NS. She's weak physically as well, always falling sick =(. So to Geri, if you're reading this, please take care of your health! I know you'll excel in your studies =)! I'll be here, there, anywhere cheering you on =P! *hugs*

I know I've yet to complete "The Past 3 Years", but I'll complete it as my graduation approaches, I promise =). There's just so little time left, yet so much I want to do. I'm probably going to be in deep shit later on (around 10.30AM), as Willie and I have to face a certain person. Why? Because we've yet to do what we were supposed to do. Willie's trying really hard, and I can barely help due to the FOC and many other personal stuff. Sorry =(. Willie's one of those really helpful people, so helpful most people will take them for fools, for granted. Which sadly, seemed to be the case during his TP life. Somehow he never seems to mind. No idea why =). But it's great to see someone that helpful.

Good night =).

The effort you put in is equalled only by your failures
Why try so hard, when you always end up failing?
Maybe you should stop pushing yourself
Set yourself free and see what you have become
Let yourself go and drift into eternal bliss

Reflection

It's raining out there, as I sit here alone
As far as I'm aware, there're sins I've to atone
Nothing washes them away, not even the rain
Time and again, I've to face this pain

Bah, just a lame attempt at trying to write something =). Anyway, since I got my Enlistment letter, I've been treasuring every second of my life. No more lying on the bed doing nothing, no more forcing myself to sleep when I'm bored. It's a mixed feeling, as Maclean says. A part of me feels happy that I finally get to go in, so I can come out as soon as possible =). Another part of me feels that my life's going to go through some major changes. I hate change. I can cope with changes, but that doesn't mean I like it. I know I'm going to miss my friends and family, and of course, my dearest Geri =(. I won't be able to stay up late surfing the internet, watching anime, reading manga, chatting or playing games anymore. Neither will I have the chance to catch the occasional TV show with my mum. I won't be able to keep a tab on my sister, nor will I be there if my dad or mum wants to vent their anger on someone (as much as I hate it when it happens, I'm usually fine with it, as long as it makes them feel better =)). I won't have the chance to hang out late at night with my friends. Also, I won't be able to spend time with Geri =(. I'm definitely going to miss my life. The saddest thing of all, June 10 is also my dad's birthday, but I can't be there to celebrate with him, because I've to go NS.

On another note, I might be able to meet some new people. Right now, I'm seriously hoping that I'll end up with fun-loving and nice people =). I'm also hoping that I'll be able to book out on all the weekends in July. Why? Because July 21 is Geri's birthday, and July 29 would be our first year anniversary =). I'm glad both dates fell on weekends. I'm also hoping that somehow my sister will become a little more responsible (now that I'm gone). More importantly, I'm hoping that my family members, and of course Geri, will take good care of their health. Especially my mum and Geri. They're always having headaches, or stomachaches, or something. If it's not this, it's that. You know, I'm feeling sad writing all these. It makes me realise how little I notice about people, until I actually think about it. Guess I've to thank NS for it =).

I don't particularly like military stuff. I like military strategies, because some of them are really amazing, how humans play each other out and stuff, but that's about it. I don't like guns, because they kill. Killing is bad. War is bad. Yet I know, even if I dislike these things, in times of war, I'd be force to use a weapon. Even if not for my country, I'll have to do it for my loved ones. To be honest, the thing I'm really looking forward to in NS is the physical training, and the people I'll be able to meet.

I'm probably getting the Philips Xenium 9@98 phone for NS, since they don't allow chargers (well you could do it secretly, but hey...). It's supposed to have 10 hours of talk time, and up to 720 hours of standby time. Of course I could go with a Nokia 8250 or something and some spare batteries as well. Nevertheless, I'll most likely get the 9@98 for $195 without line! It's a pretty good deal =).

Last but not least, to all my friends going to NS, may we all enjoy our NS life! Treasure your pink IC life while you can, lol =). I'll definitely miss my life, and the people in it, especially Geri! *hugs*

ETC Over + Enlistment...

Hi all, finally another update! I was in the "ENGenius Training Camp" from Thursday till Saturday. It was really fun, in spite of some screw-ups here and there =(. Anyway, I don't feel like blogging much about it, because I got my Enlistment letter during the camp (my mother called me).

So, yup, I'll be going into NS on the 10th of June, at 10am, in BMTC School 1. If any of you out there has the same day as me, please let me know =). Since I got the news, every day suddenly seems so much more precious... Alright, I'm lazy now. Take care everyone =).

Thoughts of a Forgettable Young Man

Every single time he calls, he only asks about my sister. The only time he asks about me is when he can't get my sister, or when he needs something from me. Just like when he needed me to open a new StarHub line for him. Yes, he's my father. For my sister he'll probably kill himself, but when I get all distinctions for my recent examinations, it doesn't even matter to him. Yes, that's the life I've been living for the past two years or so. Or should I say, since the day my sister was born. Only it became more apparent recently.

Maybe it's better to be a problematic child.

I've always tried my best at doing everything well, be it studies, friendship, relationships, work, or organizing events. To me, it's either you do it well, or don't do it at all. I did well in my studies when I was in my lower primary. Always scoring within the top 5 in class. In upper primary, I started playing more and studying less, and my results suffered as a result. In either case, my parents didn't really pressure me. I thought I was lucky to have such good parents. My PSLE came, and I didn't do well at all. Thankfully, I was still able to enter the Express stream at a normal neighbourhood secondary school. I started studying a little harder, and I was able to sail through my lower secondary school life rather smoothly, except for a few hiccups here and there, especially when it came to my second language, Mandarin. Then came the turning point in my life. My parents divorced. Back then I really hated them for doing that. I hated the fact that my relatives had so much influence in everything. I also hated the fact that I wasn't able to do a thing. I decided there and then that I'll try my best to do well for my O Levels, and for once, I actually felt like I've a path in life.

I felt like getting everything I wanted, I also felt like returning my relatives the favour.

I wasn't on good terms with my father after the divorce initially. Nevertheless, the situation improved, and we were soon on talking terms. I've always liked my mother, because I think she's one of the best mothers anyone can ever have. The sad thing is, she refuses to talk to my father at all. I've no idea why. When the father can't gets the mother, he goes through his son. As a result, I'm always the middleman. Always the one against both of them, always the one trying to defend both of them. Defend them from who? From each other. It was pretty difficult trying to study for my O Levels with all these things happening. It didn't help that one of my teachers said that I was using my parents' divorce as a reason for not studying. If only she knew how hard it was.

Time passed by, and soon I was having my O Levels. I did well enough to be able to enter a few not-so-prestigious Junior Colleges, but I decided to go to Temasek Polytechnic in the end. The reason I did so was because I've always liked computers. I love programming, I love playing around with the hardware. I love just about everything related to computers. Thus, I ended up going to ETCM in Temasek Polytechnic's School of Engineering, before opting to go for Computer Engineering in my second year. Sadly, ETCM is a course often looked down upon by many other students, because it has a relatively high cut-off point. Anyway, I did pretty well in my Year 1. I got into the Director's List, which is an award for the top 10% of the students. Yet again, my parents didn't seem be particularly care. They're always going, "Good job. Just don't pressure yourself too much." I don't get a single thing for scoring. Nothing at all. On the other hand, my sister, who has always been a little weaker in studies, will probably get anything she wants as long as she passes. Especially from my father. Nevertheless, I wasn't one to expect too much from anyone at all, and I also understand that my parents work hard to earn money to support us. I still felt life was pretty good, especially with the bunch of friends I've in school. You know, what goes up must come down. The same goes for happiness. My girlfriend left me. For another guy. Well, well. Isn't it weird how the person who once made you smile the most is now making you cry?

Of course, being the stubborn person I am. I refused to be beaten just like that. I was really down at that time, but my friends stood by me. I decided then that I'll do my best in my studies no matter that. That one day I'll do well in life. That I'll be a good friend, a good son, and a good husband. So I worked really hard when Year 2 started. My group members weren't strong in programming, and I had to shoulder most of the responsibility. Moreover, I still haven't recovered from the breakup. Life was tough, but it soon got better. Also, I still had to play the middleman role for my parents. As I said earlier, what goes up WILL come down. My sister started changing for the worst. So now, I've to handle my parents, AND my sister.

I've already written about my sister numerous times. My parents are like tools and fools to her. Sadly, they are still like this. I don't want to count the number of times my parents argued because of her. Neither do I want to count the number of times I was involved for no particular reason at all. All I know is she's no longer the sister I know, and no longer someone I'd want to associate myself with. But what can I do? I was born to be her brother. I can't change facts. Right? So here I am, still trying to be patient. Still trying to be nice. But what do I get? Shit from both my parents, and my sister.

My father called me a while ago, asking me to pass money to my sister again. For what? So she can go and buy her cigarettes? I told him I can't do that as I was outside. He told me he already messaged my mother to pass her the money, and that once again, my mother didn't reply. So I called my mother, and told her to pass my sister the money first. Somehow, I sounded rude to her, and she's now angry and hurt because of me. My father too, because I literally shouted at him. Great, so now I'm wrong again. Just yesterday, my sister called me, asking me to buy dinner home for her. I told her I would be home late, and to call my mother first. Or she can go and cook some instant noodles. Somehow, when I came home, my mother was home, but my sister was nowhere in sight. It seems that she came home, saw my mother, and immediately left home. Great. I gave her a call, and from the way she talked, it seems like she's pushing all the blame to me. That I didn't care for her, that I'd rather she eat instant noodles than to buy food for her. Great... Really. You fucking walked out on your family, and you expect everyone to shower you with love like we owe you everything?

Really, maybe it's better to be a problematic child.

To all the people reading this, please. If you're a parent, never let your problems with your partner affect your children. Please treat your children with equal love, no matter how different they are. Never, ever say you prefer one over the other to your child. Never. If you're a child, never hurt your parents knowingly. Also, no matter how bad they may treat you, remember, they will always be your parents, like it or not. Remember. You know, I still think my parents are nice people after all these. They've been nice, and I'd rather remember them for the good things than the bad things.

So once again, I'm probably going to exercise a little to relieve the anger and sadness, and maybe sleep after that. Tomorrow, I'm going to smile again, like nothing's ever happened. Like everything's forgettable, just like I am.

Pissed Off

Since I'm seriously pissed off with some stuff that I'd rather not mention for now, I've decided to think of all the irritating/stupid things that never fails to make me chuckle whenever I think about them. I don't bear grudges, in fact I find grudges stupid, and that's precisely why I'm able to laugh/joke about these things. Some people may find it offensive. No offense =). Real names might not be used to protect the identity of the person. Here we go...

- S T A R T -

1. Jack To Jill
Jack: "You should go on to university to have a proper life, since I took away much of your polytechnic life."

Explanation: Jill used to be a good friend of ours, but after getting together with Jack she's NOT allowed to talk to boys/guys. According to Jack, all guys are evil and have an ulterior motive, and he's the only pure one. To be honest I think Jill's a really sweet girl, but love is blind, as they all say.

2. Rambo To Me, Rambo To Nash
After seeing Rambo's nick on MSN once, I figured he was pretty unhappy with some of us (not me though), so I went to ask him.

Me: "Eh you angry with Dan? What happened?"

Rambo: "Aiyah he and Nash keep on disturbing me regarding me failing my test again."

Me: "Haha it's for the fun of it what. You should know them."

- End Of Conversation -

Around three weeks later, in a incident that involved Angel, Rambo, Nash, Dan, and myself (in which I was supposedly that one at fault and backstabbing everyone).

Rambo To Nash: "Aiyah I all along know YC don't like you all already."

Explanation: WTF? I barely commented on anything, if at all. What actually happened was Angel came to me telling me some personal stuff, and I simply gave him honest replies. I've no idea how the others interpreted it, but suddenly I'm wrong. Best of all, Rambo's suddenly good friends with Nash and Dan. Talk about saving your own ass.

3. Rambo To All
Rambo: "Hey can lend me $500? I need to help a friend. It's a life and death matter."

Explanation: He needed the money for some business of his own, and it had nothing to do with life and death. However, for the sake of money, LYING TO YOUR FRIENDS IS CORRECT!

4. Timmy To Me & Many Others
When I was in Year 1.1, I thought I found good friends, seriously. However, Timmy is a guy who liked to backstab Michael. Michael was a close friend of ours, and still is. Anyway, Timmy felt that Michael's lying about his background and all, for no apparent reason. So he decided to go around telling everyone this:

Timmy: "You don't find Michael to be bullshit? How about we all expose him one day?"

Naturally I told him not to play any games with me. Thankfully nothing happened. So much for friends. All because he felt. Something. It's funny because Michael and I really thought of him as a good friend, and he went around telling everything shit about Michael. Naturally, there are people who are born to be sheep, so yup, some simply followed blindly.

5. Yasmine To Angel
There was once my group of friends had a chalet, and we happened to be talking about Angel's recent change of attitude and stuff. To make it clear, whatever we talked about, we had already told him. We just wanted to know if there was anything we could do. Somehow, Yasmine (who was part of the conversation) felt that we were backstabbing Angel.

Anyway, what happened after that was that Angel decided not to be friends with us anymore (in a way), because we were backstabbing him. The funny thing is if we were backstabbing him, then what about Yasmine? Well, this is related to No. 2 as well.

- E N D -

Well, I guess that's all for now. Once again, this is all for the fun of it. Most of the problems mentioned have already been solved, and I'm pretty much on good terms with them all. If you find whatever's above offensive, I'd say, move on with life. Just for your information, the name's aren't generated by my brain randomly. They do relate to what think that person should be named (at the point in time the incident happened). For example, Yasmine might be a guy, for all you know =). Last but not least, sorry if you don't find this funny in any way, but it seriously makes me laugh. At how stupid we all can be sometimes. I'm sure some of my friends would find the humour in this as well =P.

Alright, good night people!

Guys Lie For A Reason!

One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river, his axe fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "Why are you crying?"

The woodcutter replied that his axe had fallen into the water. The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked. The woodcutter replied, "No."

The Lord again went down and came up with a silver axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked. Again, the woodcutter replied, "No."

The Lord went down again and came up with an iron axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked. The woodcutter replied, "Yes."

The Lord was pleased with the man's honesty and gave him all three axes to keep, and the woodcutter went home happily.

One day while he was walking with his wife along the riverbank, the woodcutter's wife fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked him, "Why are you crying?" "Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the water!"

The Lord went down into the water and came up with Jennifer Lopez, as beautiful as ever. "Is this your wife?" the Lord asked. Without a doubt, "Yes, my Lord" cried the woodcutter.

The Lord was furious. "You cheat! That is an untruth!"

The woodcutter replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I said 'no' to Jennifer Lopez, You will come up with Catherine Zeta-Jones. Then if I also say 'no' to her, You will thirdly come up with my wife, and I will say 'yes,' and then all three will be given to me. But Lord, I am a poor man and I will not be able to take care of all three wives, so that's why I said 'yes' this time."

The moral of the story is: When ever a man lies, there is a reason good behind it!

Source: Neowin.net Forums

StarForce Seriously Sucks

Seriously, PLEASE DO NOT BUY ANY GAMES WITH STARFORCE!

READ THIS

Grad Nite (Part II)

So I was saying, I reached the place. Anyway, before reaching Timbre (aka the place), I met Nicholas, Raj, Gregory, Roy, Tiong Guan, and a whole lot of other people at City Hall MRT Station. On the way there, I kept complaining to Geri (:X) about what happened. Sorry! Anyway, it was partially out of fun =P. After walking forever, we finally reached Timbre (around 7.45pm). Paid the money, signed a paper to show I'm there, and proceeded to sit. Some of our juniors (4 of them) performed throughout the night. Well, thanks =).

I was (again) rather pissed off when I saw A and B. But seeing the happy faces of all my friends there made me think twice before losing my temper or anything. Also, I saw many people I'd NEVER have expected to come, but they did. Although I didn't know them really well, it was good to see them. At the very least, it shows they bother about the course, right? Anyway, A was the emcee for the night, and damn, he's bad. Shan't comment too much. Went on to have some food, and it was pretty nice. OUT OF 4 dishes, I only managed to try 2. The other 2 were empty trays by the time I went there (buffet). Both were nice though. I ate beef after a very long time =X. Sorry =(. I was then called on stage to give a speech as the ex-President of CENT Club, and damn, I suck. I wasn't prepared at all. The very least that could happen was to let me know at 5 minutes beforehand! But no, I was just called up. Sigh. After giving a possibly worst speech I've ever given, I called Jeremy up. I think he too, was shocked, as his speech was short. No doubt it's better than mine though.

After that, we had some games and whatnots, and they were fun, although it wasn't handled very well. Soon after, some people started leaving =(. The resident band of Timbre then started performing, and they're rather good! This was when one of the most interesting/fun/enjoyable/memorable things of the night happened. Amir went up to play the drums! Although all of us know Amir's a drummer, I've personally never seen him play before. It was the first time, and he's pretty good! HEHE. Way to go man!

Around 10pm (or was it 11pm), we all left the place. Nicholas already left with his date earlier (to send her home). Anyway, Maclean, Amir, Rayhan, Raj, Gregory, Simon, and myself went on the East Coast Park. Geri (DARLING!), Terry, and Chin Ming shared the same cab and went home. Thanks to Chin Ming and Terry for taking care of Geri =P. We reached East Coast Park (McDonald's) around 12.30am, where Nicholas re-joined us. What went on for the rest of the night was...

Nicholas was telling us about his feelings for his date. Anyway, we talked a lot about it, and I'd say go for it man =). You've nothing to lose! On the contrary, all of us started lecturing (literally) Gregory on his weird taste for girls. I mean, come on, all your girlfriends so far are seriously... young =X. After chatting for some time, we decided to take a walk around East Coast Park, and sang songs along the way. We reached one of the huts after a while, where Raj, Simon, and Jeremy fell asleep. Raj snores really loud =X. Went on talking, singing, etc. till 5.30am or so, after which we went back to McDonald's for breakfast. Left the place around 6.30am. Shared a cab with Jeremy and Simon to Bedok Reservoir, where I went on to take bus 8 home, although I didn't pay a single cent. Thanks =P.

To end it, I'd like to thank all my wonderful friends for the past 3 years or so in TP. It was one hell of a journey. Maclean, who I know since the VERY FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL. Gregory, who I know a few days after that. Also, people like Nicholas, Raj, Amir, and Rayhan, friends I got to know in Year 2! Not forgetting my weird SIP group, consisting of Wee Quan (aka Ng Barbie), and Willie (the Yuen). Also, friends like Roy, Andrew, and literally everyone else in CEN, thanks for all the times. Although shit has happened, I'm sure all of us have learnt to use a toilet paper to wipe it off, throw it into the toilet bowl, maybe enjoy/dread the smell for a while, and then flush it away. Thanks also to my juniors (all of you, even though I don't like some of you) for organizing the Grad Nite. Last but not least, to Mr. Clement Chew, who has been a very good lecturer and friend to me, and to all the CEN lecturers.

Thanks for all the times, I'll be re-living them from time to time, in the form of memories. Good ones, great ones, sad ones, bad ones, I won't forget them =).

Blog Changes

Renamed "Must Read!" To "Important Stuff", and added the link for my Grad Nite pictures as well =).

Stupid StarForce

Alright, I'm a little slow in blogging about this, but StarForce is a really irritating copy-protection software (Like SafeDisc, etc.). For more information, check out the following link:

http://www.glop.org/starforce/

Why am I blogging about it now, you might ask. I spend most of my time on the internet surfing techology/computing sites, and yesterday I came across an article on Neowin.net, which says that one of the administrators on the StarForce forums actually linked to a site, which provided the torrents for the game "Galactic Civilizations 2". GC2 does not make use of any anti-copying software, and the reason the stupid StarForce administrator linked to the site was to show that a game that is not copy-protected can be easily pirated.

Not only is what the administrator did illegal, it's downright childish. So if someone doesn't want to use your POS software, you simply link to sites where people can download them for free? Anyway, whether your game/application is copy-protected or not, it will always be pirated. Do a search and you'll see all the results. Being an administrator/moderator on the StarForce forums, I'm pretty sure this StarForce guy already knew about it, yet he linked to a torrent for GC2. For what? Seriously. If your games/applications are good, people will buy it. If you make shitty software, and no one buys it, don't blame it on piracy all the time. Maybe take a look at your software first.

I don't really feel like elaborating further. I will personally ALWAYS buy a good game, and although I haven't tried GC2, what StarForce did was stupid and dumb. Check out the Neowin.net thread HERE, and the stupid StarForce thread HERE. Anyway, the link has already been removed from the thread, but what the administrator did was ~!@#$. Last but not least, check out what StarDock (makers of GC2) had to say HERE.

Alright, that's all. I seldom blog about computing-related news, but this time round I just have to spread the news (at least to the people who read this blog, especially my friends) ^_^.

New Section + Other Stuff

Hi all, I've added a "Must Read!" section to the right. As you can see, it consists of the posts I find are more important, such as Grad Nite and stuff. Anyway, I promise I'll be updating with "The Past 3 Years (Part IV)", and "Grad Nite (Part II)" once I've the time. On another note, I got my examination results yesterday, and I did well! I'm really happy, it was one heck of a good surprise =)! To some friends who didn't do well, cheer up! Work hard and clear your supplementary papers! We'll all be there to help you =).

Lastly, I went to the IT Show today and bought a 250GB External Hard Disk. This brings the total capacity in my computer to around 500GB =P. Mostly anime and manga. I love them! Alright, off to sleep in a while. Good night everyone =).

There's No Comfort In The Waiting Room + Grad Nite

Hi all, the title of this post was taken from a Death Cab For Cutie song ^^. I'll post the lyrics later in this post =). Anyway, I believe all of my friends and everyone else from TP are anxiously waiting for their results. All the best to each and everyone of you!

Anyway, regarding the graduation night I had on Tuesday, it was great. The day started off like crap for me, and for Maclean as well. Honestly. Before I go on, let's first take a look at what was supposed to happen for us (Maclean and I) on that day:

• Meet Mac In School At 1PM For Lunch


• Meeting (Week Zero Orientation) In School At 2.30PM


• Hope The Meeting Ends By 5PM


• Meet Geri <3


• Go For Graduation Night To Have Fun With Friends

That what's SUPPOSED to happen. Instead, nearly everything went wrong. Firstly, I woke up late, not late enough to meet Maclean late, but later than what I had intended. As if that wasn't bad enough, I had constipation, and sinus(istis). I seem to be having sinus recently =(. Anyway, I reached school around 2.15PM instead. Thankfully Mac wasn't angry. Before going to the club room where the meeting was supposed to be held, I went to buy NutriSoy. So, feeling a little happier, like a little kid receiving sweets, I stepped into the club room, and opened the NutriSoy. Before I could even drink, I heard, "EH NO DRINKING IN THIS CLUB ROOM, PLEASE GO OUT AND DRINK." I turned around, and it's one of my own juniors. Maclean was also in the room and I'm pretty sure he's fed up as well. Anyway, let's call this junior A. I already didn't feel very good due to my sickness, and due to being late, and I've to take this shit from a junior?

Look, hate it or like it, I am your senior. You might be older than me, but that's all. Even worse, I was the ex-President of the club. The least you could do was talk to me nicely. Anyway, go screw yourself in the head for suggesting a "No drinks" rule. Puck you, really. I don't want to use profanities, so just get the meaning and leave it at that. So, not wanting to create trouble, I went out of the club room to drink my NutriSoy. Ok, I'm lying. The problem was there are people from the Week Zero committee outside the club room, waiting for the meeting to start. Thus, I didn't want to cause a scene. This brings up another issue, what were you, A, and the other club members doing in the club room, leaving our guests outside the club room sitting? I also heard that one of the juniors, let's call him B, actually told the Week Zero committee people NOT to enter the club room till 2.30PM.

Anyway, after finishing my NutriSoy, I went back into the club room. Then I had to face another problem. B kept whining and blaming me for bringing more people to the Graduation Night. Firstly, I did not bring more people. These people wanted to come. Secondly, you all did not leave any means for others to contact you if they wanted to go for the Grad Night. I had to play part-time organizer together with Maclean to make sure all these people were able to come, and I have to face shit from you? Grad Night was supposed to be something FOR ME to enjoy, yet I've to help settle some things?

As you can see, the day started out very badly, with my own juniors showing complete disrespect to the people I know. It was sad. I'm going to go a little off-topic, but this club basically makes my TP life what it is today. A lot of things happened, and my committee fought so hard for a club room of our own, for the lockers, for so many things. For the good relations between the various Diploma Clubs. Yet after passing it on, all we see are pathethic assholes trying to create conflict within the club. There're a few people who are really nice in the new committee. In fact, too nice for their own good. Be a little tougher, really. You have the authority to do that. Be thankful you all have a really good advisor, whom we respect very much =).

Anyway, I went on for my meeting, and it was a great meeting. I enjoy being with this Week Zero committee very much. It's made up of a bunch of people who are very capable and enthusiastic about what they're going to do. The meeting ended sometime around 5PM. I then went back to the club room, rested a while (Or rather, lost my temper at two of my juniors who had nothing to do with what happened earlier. Sorry.), before going to meet Geri (with Mac, of course).

Along the way, one of our fellow friends called us, telling us he doesn't want to go because of some stuff. Anyway, I didn't exactly speak in a nice tone to him, so I passed the phone to Mac. He hanged up on Mac though =(. Anyway, the problem's now solved, and things are good =).

So I reached the place, ready to have fun albeit being a little pissed with everything...

(To Be Continued Another Day)