20051223

My parents chose to divorce, but my sister chose to destroy everything's that's left of it. Now I know why you need friends. Because sometimes your own family just can't be trusted. I don't blame any of them. I think this is what you call fate. Or destiny. Or bullshit. I like the last one the best. I've never felt more disappointed than this. Not disappointed with myself, but with my sister. Good job. You win. What else do you fucking want? I've to swallow my pride when I saw your fucked up friends, had to keep quiet like an idiot. It's alright, I tell myself, but you only go further. Sorry? Stop your fucking acting. Maybe I'll tell this straight to your face the next time I see you. Selfish POS. Get your fucking idea right, I don't, and will NEVER owe you a thing. This family is a tool to you, mother and father are just puppets to you. I don't feel like going home? Your friends are so cool :), so are you.

20051211

Malacca Trip

Hello all,

I went to Malacca yesterday with my mother and sister, and it was really fun yet tiring. I know Malacca means nothing to some of you fellow Singaporeans, but it's been a long time since I stepped out of Singapore. Anyway, I had to wake up at 5.30am, catch a quick breakfast, take a quick bath, and then finally leave house at 6.15am or so. Reached Lavender at 7am, waited for the coach to arrive, and off we went.

We went via the Tuas link, and reached the Singapore customs around 8.30am or so, I think. Anyway, fast-forward a little, we reached a small town in Malaysia to catch some snacks or "brunch". Haha. Finally, we reached Malacca around 1.15pm, for lunch! The food was very nice! Oh ya, before that, we went to this "The World's Bees Museum" or something like that. Shows you all the different types of bees, and the honey there is good as well ^_^.

Anyway, after lunch, we went to this shopping mall, can't remember the name. Got myself some clothes. I feel quite bad wasting my mother's money =(. After that we went to some small district with a lot of Peranakan snacks. Bought some stuff there again.

Ok I'm getting lazy to type on. Bottom line is, it was fun! On another note, I don't know about my sister. I think she might read this but anyway, I find it a bit hard to trust her sometimes. She still behaves like nothing's ever happened, and just a moment ago she lost her temper when my mother wanted her mobile phone back. I'm tired, honestly. I know my mother is too. We're all trying so hard but you seem to take everything for granted. When we're nice to you, you step all over us. When we try to correct you, you lose your temper.

It's sad when someone uses you, it's worse when it's your own family member. I don't know what you're trying to achieve till now. Just hope you'll come to your senses soon and realise your mistakes. I know it takes time, but I'll be going NS next year, and if you don't change by then it's going to be hard for us.

Lastly, to end this on a good note, good night =).

20051210

Things have been improving at home, hope it gets better...

Anyway I'm leaving for Malacca in 5 hours. Good night people!

I miss a particular someone very much ^_^.

20051204

Fucked Up

Hello all, been a long time since I posted. Hope life's been very good for all of you. Anyway, my sister finally came home. YAY! My ass.

I was sort of happy when I first heard it. It's been MONTHS since I saw her, although she probably doesn't care. Yet when I came home, she acted like nothing's changed. Like my mother and I was wrong. No respect for anyone at all.

I've been trying not to write about her for a long time. It's always on my mind. The past few months were really good for me, but I'm always worried about her. My parents too. When staying with my father, my sister consistently left house only to return 3 or 4 days later. Each time, she would refuse to pick up her phone, giving excuses as stupid as "HANDPHONE LOW BATTERY LA". The last time I checked I shouldn't be able to get through someone if the handphone's off =).

Thanks to this, my mother and father are on really bad terms once again. Nice job. I really appreciate the amount of effort you put in just to screw the whole family up. Your friends? Lol. Friends? People who encourage you to smoke, or help you with "unlocking" your mother's room door. Oh ya, I've yet to make a report about that. You think you're so great? Thanks to you, mother and father are NOT EVEN ON TALKING TERMS ANYMORE YOU SMART ASS.

Ask yourself, have you ever kept to your promises? No. No. No. You lied about this, lied about that. Tell mother A, tell father B. Thanks.

The first thing you asked me when you came home today, "Can use your computer?". No sense of guilt, no sense of shame. Fuck your conscience. I know what you're going to say. "Why you always use vulgarities? Just like Papa." First of all I hate comparisons, secondly I don't use vulgarities as much as you hope I will. You don't even have any respect for yourself. Style. Make-up that makes you look like some china doll I can buy off the shelves. Cool? I know why you came home today, because you needed to take a bath. I'm tired of everything you're doing.

All I know is the things I value in my life are in the following order:
1. Family
2. Girlfriend and Friends
3. Studies
4. Health

And the things you value are in the following order:
1. "FRIENDS"
2. Money
3. Yourself
4. Yourself
5. Yourself

I'm disappointed, really. You stayed at father's home as long as he had a computer with a working internet connection for you to use, but the moment the internet got cut off, you start straying outside. Selfish bitch. You think you're the only one with problems? You claim you want to return to school to study, so FOR ONE LAST TIME I HOPE YOU KEEP YOUR WORD.

Just to let you know, don't ever let me see your friends in OUR house. Especially not in MY room. Really. If you hate this you can ask them to come to me personally, or maybe even kill me. Just like you killed the faith and hope everyone had in you. Why? Because you feel no one cares for you.

About that, JUST TO LET YOU KNOW. SINCE THE DAY YOU WERE BORN EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU. I'm the one without problems. You think mother or father will worry if I'm out for 2 days. No. You think I like that? Go on this way. You're becoming all you ever hated.

P.S: If you still want to play nice I'll listen. Otherwise don't interfere in my life. The sister I had is gone long ago. You just look like her. No, you don't even look like her. She looked much sweeter =). Also, she had a heart. How do I know that? Because her cheeks are naturally pink and rosy. Yours are white with powder =). Like you're trying to hide something.

Oh ya, I won't be surprised if you read it and acted like nothing happened as well.