20060531

Rant Max

I don't fucking need a lecture from any of you, neither do I need reasons, excuses, or anything like that. All I know is to quarrel over money is pathetic, doesn't matter who starts it first. You know it yourself. Great. All these things before NS. Maybe my past life was really fucked up. I must have killed someone at the very least. All these are lessons, lessons, and lessons. I like learning.

I just fucking reached home at 2.40am or something, I'm god damn tired, I'm not feeling well, tomorrow's full of plans, and life is still shit. But I'm not going to fucking blame it on:

1. Parents
2. Friends
3. ANYTHING AT ALL

Things happen for a reason. Learn to accept it rather than flare up and blame everyone around you and whatnots. Life's bad as it is, don't make it worse for others. People who are selfish, please take note. Don't use others as a tool as well, be it for money, for your own perverse pleasure, don't. It's plain wrong. Say what you want about morals. If you think it's right, then ask yourself, "Would your mother or father feel proud about it if they know?" The fucking answer is, NO, so shut your fucking mouth before someone acts all tough about not being able to forgive when he's a fucked up wussy deep down inside. I guess when wussies act tough they start sounding like pussies. They go ROAR ROAR, but when you face them they can only purr like the pussy they are. And no, this post is not directed at anyone, but everyone. Not just the two of my closer friends who are in some dispute over money, but at some other people who just don't have the guts to speak up and rather hide in the corner acting all religious, saying their sacred prayers and God knows what. Look, PRAY ALL YOU WANT. Pray and do nothing. For what? I despise some of you so much I wished I had never met you. Really. Pathetic, selfish, balls suckers. You don't even deserve 1/2 the credit you have. You don't EVEN TRY TO UNDERSTAND FOR YOUR FRIEND who had to take all the shit you created. I've to flush everything, use acid when the pipes got stuck, to clean your fucking shit. You know what I'm typing everything I'm typing because I have the guts to say this, and if you're fucking offended then you're obviously retarded. Because this is my blog, I can act tough all I want just like you do. The only difference is I never write what I can't do. Red wine is good for your body.

I don't give a fuck about many things nowadays, probably because most of them aren't even worth bothering about even if you're paid to do that. Because humans are at the end of the day, selfish and pathetic. They think only for themselves. "I'M IN PAIN BECAUSE I BROKE UP WITH MY GIRLFRIEND SO I'M GOING TO ATTITUDE ALL MY FRIENDS TO LET THEM KNOW HOW MUCH PAIN I'M IN." FUCK YOU. No matter how fucked up your life is, don't FUCKING EVER take it out on your friends or family. THAT'S WHY I have a blog to write whatever I want, without giving a damn who reads it, loves it or hates it. It's a damned public diary. Meant for people to read and comment. And whatever. Doesn't really matter. Wallow in your self-pity, you think you're so damned pitiful? Sometimes I feel that way too, but I NEVER take it out on my close ones. Look at the people around you, some of them are your age and dying of cancer. Of whatever. And you think you're so pitiful? Then some fucking smart ass will ask, "What about the person who's really suffering the most in the world, who is he going to look at to console himself?" Look, I don't know how someone's ever going to gain that title of "Most Suffering Man/Woman Ever", but stop using as an excuse. Because if you're reading this you OBVIOUSLY have an internet connection, which means you're at least able to have your meals. Are you suffering that much? You fucking POS?

I'll like to end this with a good night to all of you. Please make friends, not enemies, while you're still alive. All of us lose our tempers sometimes, all of us quarrel over minor things like whose penis is larger sometimes, but that's not worth losing a friendship over. Don't repeat the past mistakes. I've learnt, that your worst enemy today, might have been your mother in your past life. Yes, religious ranting. We're all going to die one day, when your enemy's dead it doesn't matter how much you hate him, you can't kill him anymore. So why hate to being with? Why bother with these minor things? You see, I've made most of these mistakes before, and I don't wish to see anyone I know repeating any of them at all. Life's too short, too precious. Don't mess it up. There's this saying that if you dislike someone over something, it's probably because you can't accept that that something is a part of yourself. Because you don't have the courage to admit you're similar to him in some ways, you choose the cowardly way of disliking him. People sitting on the fence, time to take sides because one day, the fence going's to collapse. Too many backbone-less people are on it. It can't handle the weight anymore.

20060529

Minor Things

My uncle passed away around 8 hours ago, sometime around 7pm on the 28th of May. Although I've never been really close to him, I feel sad whenever I hear about someone passing away. I used to dislike him, largely because he caused a lot of trouble to my parents, and betrayed my father a couple of times. I guess I was naive back then, probably just needed someone to put the blame on. Right now I don't really care what he did.

Back then I always forced myself to excel at whatever I did, because I wanted to succeed one day and return the favour to whoever has caused me so much shit. But now I don't care anymore. I feel like an idiot for not being able to let go when needed to, for not being able to forgive.

When I saw him at the hospital a few days ago, it was a really weird feeling. A part of me really felt sorry for him, but another part of me told me I shouldn't care. At the end of the say I realised I was a fool. It didn't matter what he did. The fact was he did the things he did, probably because he had things he wanted to protect as well. All I'm wishing for now is for him to finally find some peace. When matters of life and death are at stake, what is hate? It's nothing.

On to another topic, a certain good friend of mine has been facing shit from a couple of cowards recently. I don't know what to say to these people anymore. They've hurt more people than they've protected. Yet they speak so bravely on their blogs, on MSN Messenger, on whatever. But they don't have the guts to even open their mouth in person, or even pick up the phone. You know, if you're a coward, don't act tough. You look stupid. Sometimes, maybe you should take a step back and reflect on what your actions have caused others.

To one of you, you've caused an entire clique to break up. You did nothing to stop it. You even acted like you were a victim. I don't really care about that anymore, but please don't repeat the same mistake, like what you're doing now.

To another one of you, you've spoilt someone's reputation in school, when he's tried so hard to cover up for you back in the CENT Club days. You act all religious and nice, yet admit that you'd suck up just to avoid trouble. I also know what you've said to others about me behind my back, and kept quiet. Why?

I know the latter part of this blog doesn't seem to make any sense or anything at all, but I'm really tired. Mentally, emotionally, physically. If you want trouble, just admit it. If you want peace, please do what it takes. Why are you all such hypocrites? I don't even look forward to graduation anymore. If it weren't for some of my friends, and the thought of my mother and Geri smiling when I'm on stage, I wouldn't want to turn up at all. All these political bullshit backstabbing is just so dumb. I guess this is the world after all. Senseless. Self-righteous selfish people.

But you know what? All these are nothing when compared to death. Really. Why play all these childish games when you could spend that time making someone happy? Why?

20060523

=)

People will forever care only about their own problems, their own motives, their own feelings. I barely have any time left to enjoy my life before NS, and everyday I've to face some family shit. You think it's so god damn easy trying to keep all to myself and keeping silent all these while? When father makes noise I keep it away from mother. When mother makes noise I keep it away from father. When sister's giving problems I've to take all the shit from everyone. What kind of family is this? What is the purpose of a family if there's so much more pain than joy? What's the point of loving your parents when you don't even get appreciated? Why do people always lose their temper over the stupidest and smallest of things, such as not wanting to have dinner till a while later. Is that something worth losing your temper over? Is that an example that I should follow? And people always say I've a bad temper. Hasn't it become so much better over the years? What else do you want? I simply forgot that you had already bought dinner, and I was eating the cookies before I called you anyway. Why are you so pissed off just because I didn't want to have dinner till a while later? Why must you behave like I did it on purpose to piss you off?

DO YOU SERIOUSLY THINK I ENJOY BEING IN THE MIDDLE OF ALL THESE? I CAN'T EVEN ENJOY MYSELF BEFORE NS. FUCKING HELL I THINK NS WOULD BE MUCH MORE OF A CHALET THAN THIS HELL IS. You don't understand anything. You only want things your way. Have I ever lost my temper at you unnecessarily? Why must you always look at all the small things and lose your temper over them? Just like the divorce. Why can't you remember each other for the good times? Why must you all blame each other for the divorce? Fucking shit sometimes I think I'm better off dead than to be here. Since it seems like I'm always the cause of everything. You tell me this is a good lesson for me so I don't repeat this mistake in future. I feel like this is a lesson to remind me of all the evil things humans are capable of. Why preach what you can't practise? I HATE WRITING SO MUCH SHIT IN THIS BLOG, I WISH YOU COULD UNDERSTAND ALL OF THESE. But you won't. And if I'm going to bottle up any more feelings it's going to drive me insane. So I've no choice but to write. I hate taking out my own problems on others, because that would remind me of how you had chosen to react many a times. This blog is like a gateway for me. A way for me to express myself. Not to anyone, but just to relieve that little bit of stress and tension. That little bit of hope that someone out there is probably reading this and cheering me on.

I really hate the way things are with my life. What do you understand? If buying dinner for me would cause so much trouble I'd rather not have dinner in future. To make a mountain out of a molehill, to cause so much pain when you could've just STFU and used a plaster. WHY? Is watching your own son suffer on your behalf such a joyful feeling? What are you trying to teach me? What is this society becoming? You are SO GOD DAMN NICE TO ME WHEN YOU'RE HAPPY, but look at yourself when you're pissed off. You don't even give a shit about my feelings. I'm your son so I've to take all this? I've never felt more exhausted, more tired in my life. Sometimes I wonder if I'm just a tool for the both of you. Someone you can be proud of for the sake of your own pride and ego. I might seem like I've everything but the truth is I have close to nothing already. The Gods, the whatever you want to call it higher beings, or fate, or anything at all, I've been robbed of so many stuff that rightfully belongs to me I feel like I've nothing anymore. Like an object filled with the desire to just succeed, to prove everyone wrong, to prove my own worth.

So time and again no matter how fucking shitty I feel I'm just going to sleep and wake up trying to feel better the next day. Or I'll be taking it out on my weights, or sometimes someone who doesn't deserve the shit from me. You told me to enjoy life before NS. Yet you're the two stopping it from happening. Maybe it's better if I wasn't born to begin with. They say life is wonderful because of the fact that it can be taken away anytime. You know, sometimes I think people will prefer it being taken away. I want to believe that life is wonderful too, but how can I believe in it when the people closest to me are showing me otherwise?

Sometimes when you really want to say something hurtful, or punch someone, look at yourself in the mirror and do it first. Do you think everyone can take the shit you throw at them? Even the mirror will break when you punch it. Life is even more fragile than a mirror. You think I can take it? All the time? Have I not tried to understand you time and again?

Tomorrow will be a better day. Tonight I'll be haunted by the demons of the past again. One day I'll stop blogging I'm sure, that'll be the day I'm completely void of any emotions. Pain, pleasure, all will be a thing of the past.

Lactic Acid Is Good After All

LINK

^_^

20060521

~!@#$%^&*()_+

And you ask yourself why you're smiling
All that you're holding on to is fading
Why should you give a damn about anyone?
When no one spares a thought for you?

I don't know what the fuck I'm writing actually. Lots of things have been happening. Things just don't go all well for me. Whenever I'm happy, there's still something sad/unhappy that'll just appear in my mind and spoil my mood. On the contrast, whenever I'm sad, I find it difficult to remember something happy to cheer myself up. Today I watched, "I Not Stupid Too/2", yes, a little old I know, but this was the first time I watched it. There's this part that the little boy says "FAMILY - Father And Mother, I Love You." I think it's pretty nice and meaningful =). Those people that actually read this blog and care, thank you =).

My family problems have been affecting me for many years already. 4 years at least. I'm tired already. I just feel so god damn fucking tired and just giving all these shit up. Just ignore everything. Everytime my father calls me I know there's going to be a problem. Heck, 7/10 times there's a problem. I already know it, yet I still pick up the phone. Not because I want to, or need to, but because I have to. Because as a son it is only right that you respect your parents and pick up their phone calls when they call you and whatnots. But sometimes I ask myself, can I choose NOT to pick the call up? There're many times I convinced myself to do just that, but everytime I just feel so shitty I'll call back within 15 minutes, which defeats the purpose. All I'm asking for is a simple happy life for now. Like, I know not everything's alright, but at least don't add anymore problems for me, or remind me of things that I'd rather not remember. I don't understand why my father always feels that my mother's playing mind games with him. I don't, really. Because from what I see, all my mother wants is to live each day peacefully and happily. I also don't understand why my mother's blaming my father for so many fucking things till today, because from what I feel, she should just forgive and forget and move on. Isn't that what all adults teach their kids? I love my parents a lot, really. I also understand they're doing what they feel is best. I think it's because I understand so much that it causes so much pain for myself. They don't understand what it's like to be on the receiving end of everything, to be the punching bag for everything.

Regarding my sister, I no longer have much to say for/about her. Yesterday was my father's and my paternal grandmother's lunar birthday (yes, mother and son has the same birth day, same birth time even), and my sister wasn't there, and she didn't bother contacting us the whole day. She had earlier (at least 4 days in advance) promised she would turn up. She later called us and said she got called up for some last minute work as EXPO. To which I asked, "Can't you at least drop us an sms?" To which she replied, "Orh." The weird thing is, my friend saw her in Simei later on. I can accept that she went to Simei after her work, but then my father's tenant saw her return to his house around 6pm and changing clothes. We've been trying to get her since like 4pm or something. I'm sick and tired of everything related to her. I can't wait for the day her friends vanish from my life. Why do people always throw away everything they have and then claim they've nothing?

All I'm asking for is my father to have a better temper, especially when it comes to my sister. I'm always getting all the shit when he can't find my sister. Maybe I should for once disappear as well. I'm also hoping my sister will one day wake up and walk a proper path of life, instead of wasting her life away like this. Last but not least, I hope my mother will one day talk to my father again. Myself, I just want to be happy. Is it that difficult?

On to another topic, I've always been asking myself why is it that the education system in Singapore is so unfair. JC students get to travel cheaper than Poly students. Why? I shan't complain, especially when those students from private institutions don't even get any concession passes at all. Are we considered lousier than JC students or something? Then you're going to get the explanations, that Polys are independent bodies, bla bla and bla. That's the Polys' problem, we're still students! Then you get those occasional JC students who'll say, "Poly students sucks. They're stupid, etc." Anyway, it should be "Poly students suck." without the "s". You'll also get those Poly students who'll say, "ITE students are dumb." and shit. If bringing down others makes you feel a little better yourself, I think your life's better off ended. I know I'm going off-topic =\.

Then again, I think the way that some people carry themselves are simply so screwed it's little wonder why others look down on them. The sad thing is an entire school/institution will get looked down on just because of a few bad eggs.

Well =(.

"People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime."

I came across this quote while surfing randomly just now. I think it's nice =).

20060518

Life Is Just A Flickering Flame...

I think it really is. You can be healthy and all one day, and lying in bed with Death beside you the next. I'm just glad Roy's ok now, but I was reading the Neowin.net Forums just now, and someone who's just 24 years old this year is currently being screened for cancer. He's just 24, just 4 years or so older than I am. I don't know him at all, but I still feel really sad for him. I hope he's going to be fine, I hope he doesn't get cancer. The following is his post...

So yeah, after my job going wrong and every flat i get having a problem since my move to London, i am now being screened for cancer.

Strange thing is, im a 24 year old man and i am being tested for cancer in my breast.

Basically had blood coming out of my nipple yesterday for no reason. I hadent scratched it or caught it at all, it just started bleeding. So i went to the doctor today and he is referring me huh.gif its not the responce i thought i would get.

Im keeping my head up though and getting on as best i can. Thinking of how in a couple years i should hopefully have my own house and morgage with kids running round and my girl will be my wife and my cancer will have been given the obvious all clear.

so, yeah, thats my latest news on my life

Rich


I always think about that too, about how in a couple of years I'd be out of NS, completing my studies, and doing well in the working world, with a sweet girlfriend beside me, and finally a happy family with kids running around, in a cosy little house that's well-renovated, specially tuned for comfort and warmth. I really do. But you never know what's going to happen. I remember the time I had a cyst in my buttocks, and had to undergo an operation to remove it. After removing it, the doctor told me, "Come back in a week for the report, we'll also check if it's cancerous." The week went by with me worrying everyday. I don't know what happens after a person dies. Am I just going to rot away, and be forgotten? Or is there really a heaven and a hell? As a Buddhist I do believe in reincarnation. If I were to reincarnate, what would I be? Where would I be? What about my dear ones who will forever be without me?

I don't know the answers to any of them. I just know life's really fragile. And because life's so fragile I'd really love to be happy every day. I want to die happy and smiling. Sometimes when you look at the bigger things in life, things like breakups and family hatred and whatnots don't really matter anymore. Nothing really matters anymore once you're gone anyway. So, before the wind blows your flame away, keep on glowing, keep on being the light for others. I think a life's really worth something if you live it to help others, to save others.

For those who are concerned, check out the thread at the following link:
http://www.neowin.net/forum/index.php?showtopic=462032

I really hope he'll come through this alright. Let's all take a moment to pray/wish/bless/hope for his well-being. Alright? =)

20060517

Optimist...?

Seriously, how am I supposed to be an optimist when life's been so screwed up? I'm entering NS soon, and my sister's still ~!@#$. I don't know what to do, really. Am I supposed to be worrying for her and my family every single night while I'm in NS?

Anyway, Roy's currently in hospital, suspected of meningitis. Let's all hope that he recovers soon, alright? =)

20060516

Mothers' Day & Stuff

Mothers' Day has come and gone. Geri and I got my mum a couple of things. Firstly, I got her this really cute tissue box =P. Basically it's a monkey sitting on some cylinder thingy, and you put the tissues in the cylinder thingy. To take the tissues, you take it out from the monkey's p*nis! =P It's really cute. Will take a picture soon if I remember =). Secondly, Geri and I baked for her this chocolate cake. It was fun, although Geri did 99.5% of the work =P. Thanks Darling! Thirdly, Geri got her a rose as well =). I guess that's about it. It was fun though. Also, to celebrate the special occasion with my maternal grandmother, we went to eat at some steamboat restaurant called Happy Place (or something) in Bugis. The food was good, but I felt the price wasn't justified. Well it was really fun though. Had a good time eating. Sadly, my sister didn't come with us, and I don't think she got anything for my mother either =(.

I planned to get something for Geri's mum all along but kept forgetting =(. In the end, she said that we'd share the presents she got for her mum =). Basically, I think it's a blusher and a flower (rose?). Well, at least she got something! It's the thought that counts =P. Also, my mother helped me with the presents for both my paternal and maternal grandmothers. My paternal grandma got a towel, while my maternal grandma got bedsheets! With my mother's help =P.

It wasn't exactly a tiring day in itself, but I was pretty exhausted due to not having enough sleep the previous day. Anyway, during Mothers' Day, I suddenly wished my parents were back together. You know, usually dads help their kids in getting presents for their mums =). Nothing beats having a happy family, I think. Really. What could be better than having a HOME to return to? No matter how screwed up your day is, you return home to a family who is always there for you. Well, my parents are always there for me I guess, but not in a united kind of way. Haha =).

Anyway, that was Mothers' Day for me. An occasion that's supposed to be important. Sadly, in today's society, most kids don't give a shit anymore. I see people who're like 1 or 2 years younger than me having fun with their friends, and whatnots. Where's Mothers' Day for them? Thanks to various circumstances, both internal (family) and external (society), I've grown to REALLY DESPISE kids who:

1. Don't give a shit about their family.
2. Act tough with their scrawny bodies.
3. Act tough because they're like 20 years old while their friends are like 12? Big brother? More like childish =).
4. Cheapen themselves by dressing up in a way that says "I need you in me."
5. Spend EVERYDAY at the coffeeshop without giving a damn if their parents are worried or not.
6. Don't seem to think about their future. Basically, girls who seem to think that somehow a Mr Perfect is going to appear. Look, bitch, even if he appears, his parents are going to condemn you for being so useless. Also, you're going to bring suffering to him. Is this love? Next, guys who seem to think that somehow they'll make enough cash to survive. Yeah, it's pieces of junk like you that make your parents sad. You make enough money just to survive. At the age of 25, you're probably still depending on your parents, when you should be supporting them. It's your fault, because you DID NOT TRY.
7. Blames everyone else for everything but themselves.
8. Talk about love every single minute of the day as though it's the ONLY thing you need in your life.
9. Show off their extensive ex-girlfriends/boyfriends list, when the fact is they've relationships that are so pathetic it lasts only one day (maybe less), or relationships so useless they've been together for 4 years but do not know each other's birthday.
10. Believe that their friends are right in everything, and family wrong in everything. Talk about true friends and shit when they don't respect their family. Look, you bloody pieces of crap, it doesn't matter how fucked up your family is. The key word is, respect. Secondly, if you don't even value your own flesh and blood, how the fuck is it possible for you to value your friends?

I guess that's a quick summary. A message to all these assholes, wake up. You've a life, live it instead of spending it on your pathetic wants.

Next, I'd like to advertise a product called VSafe (some insecticide). I got to know about this product while browsing around in VR-Zone's forums the other day (LINK). I bought it today from NTUC after I saw this frigging cockroach in my room yesterday, that I tried to catch but lost it mysteriously. Anyway, I got the spray, sprayed my mother's room, and just about everywhere (walls, floors, ceilings), and started seeing many small insects crawling out. Finally, I decided to try in my room. I was just spraying on Geri's laptop bag, and I SAW THE FRIGGING COCKROACH on my speakers. There was no way the cockroach came from outside, as my windows were closed. SO YUP. It's the cockroach from yesterday. I guess the Neem (or whatever) in the product screwed up the cockroach senses, causing it to come out of hiding. Anyway, I going to bring this VSafe into NS for sure.

Last but not least, after a few days of testing, I can conclude that Geri's computer is more or less stable (hardware). Prime95, Toast, CPUBurn, memtest86+, SeaTools, it passed all! I've returned her the laptop today =P. She's really happy! Very adorable =P! Well, well =). Tomorrow I'm going to get another laptop (same as Geri's) on behalf of my uncle =\. I'm a busy man I guess =P.

20060510

Rotten

I've been wanting to write for the past 2 days or so but I'm just so damn tired, disheartened, and sick. Sick of all these shit, and sick, literally, with sore throat, and now flu. I decided to write this because if I don't do it now I doubt I ever will.

As I said in some of my posts, my TP life was some of the best and worst times in my life. You know, I really miss the good times. But no way in hell would I want the bad times to repeat itself. Firstly, there was this guy, whom I really thought would make a good friend. Sadly, people are selfish. Save your ass before others, I guess. I can let it go I guess, but something I heard recently from a really good friend of mine got me pissed all over again. Don't act so fucking righteous and soft in front of others, when you're just a damned hypocrite who can't be bothered about anyone else. I feel like an idiot for hoping that things would work out among us time and again. You know what, I don't give a fucking shit anymore. You, only know how to wayang, and tripod (a term taught to me by Wee Quan). Basically, wayang means act. Tripod means suck up and carry people's balls. I hate to admit, but wayang and tripod have gotten you quite far, hasn't it?

Then there's this thing that I really wanted to have. I was hoping for at least a chance, but no, I wasn't even called up for the preliminary interviews. Time and again, politics have proved itself to be a far greater power than effort. Great. Some of my closer friends will know what I'm talking about. I don't, and can't, elaborate here for certain reasons. I felt devastated when I got the fucked up news though. Yes, I did get something. No, it wasn't what I was hoping for. I felt like a fool for working so hard for something, only to let people who can wayang and tripod take it away. True, some of them were really deserving of whatever they got, but I'm sure there are many others who didn't get what they deserve.

Thankfully, I've really great parents. My mother consoled me a lot, I know she was hurting inside. I fucking wanted to bring home something that would've made her proud of me. My father, tried cheering me up. Come to think of it he's actually quite concerned about me, just not as much as for my sister, but I'm happy already =). Anyway, I'm only happy that I got what I had without wayang-ing or tripod-ing my way through, but then again, it's a consolation. Geri was great too =). Thanks darling ^^. Some others said some meaningful stuff to me as well, and hey, thanks!

Anyway, I'm feeling much better already, but what has happened recently has made me remember why I'm so distrustful of others in the first place. I guess that's all for now, whatever it is I'd rather be myself =). Also, Nicholas, Raj and Amir will be leaving for Thailand in a few hours' time. Let's all hope they've an enjoyable holiday! They'll be back on the 15th. On that very day, Jeremy and his Jojo will be leaving for Hong Kong! ^_^

20060506

Time & Tide Wait For No Man, Screwed Society

I'll be going into NS in approximately a month's time. Time seems to have sped up. Just the other day I was running an event, and it's been 2 weeks since. There's really a lot of things I want to do, I think I'm just going to withdraw some money from my bank, and use it just for the sole purpose of enjoying my life. I've been planning to meet up with friends whom I've not met for quite some time. My childhood/primary school/secondary school friends. Till now, I've only met one though, Poh Tiam, and that was only because my computer went down. I've been trying so damn hard to find time, but either my or their plans aren't on good terms with time. What can I say? We're all approaching/past 20 now, and slowly but surely growing old and becoming real adults. Sad to say, it usually means some of us start focusing more on making money than keeping friendships. All I'm asking for now, is for time to let me spend just a day with each of these people I'd REALLY REALLY like to meet and catch up with. To be honest, I've been wanting to meet most of these friends since the day my school ended, but my timetable simply doesn't allow it. Now with NO events in sight, and NS approaching, I simply MUST meet them soon.

Secondly, I really would want to spend more time with Geri doing all the things she wants, like taking her to KTV, or ice-skating, and stuff. She deserves all that, really. She's been really sweet, and I'm really lucky to have her by my side these few months =). I don't know what else to write. I suck at writing nice/happy stuff =(. <3 you!

To my dearest people, the following quote is for you:

It takes a couple seconds to say Hello, but forever to say Goodbye. - Anonymous

Now, on to another thing I simply feel like writing about. Around a month or less ago, there was an article in my local newspaper/tabloid "The New Paper". It was an article about wives who go around having one-night stands with other guys (or girls) despite having a loving husband. Before I continue, I must say I'm writing this from memory, so most of the quotes would not be 100% accurate, but they have a similar meaning to the one in the tabloid.

One of my favourite quote from that article was "I love my husband, but one man is not enough." or something to that extent. The bitch in question also stated "Most of my friends agree with me on this kind of lifestyle." It made me wonder, do these people also cheat on one another? It must be really cool for that to happen, considering the fact that they support these kind of lifestyle. The animal in question also said, "I used to fling a lot before I got married. Then I stopped. I felt guilty when I started having ONS again, but now the guilt is gone." I'm surprised she can even feel guilt.

Most of these bitches, I mean "loving" wives, are financially independent. I think it makes them feel like they can do anything since they're still able to support themselves even if they divorce. After all, the husband's purpose is just to spoil them. Of course, there are always two sides to a coin. There was an article on the next page that focused on the guys. Basically, they interviewed a single guy who has a fetish for married women. He's basically saying what their attitude is like, how some of them even has the guts to introduce him as a friend to their husbands, as though nothing ever happened. Anyway, this guy sounded all cool and shit, "I'm not worried about getting STDs." Seriously, I hope you get one and die alone =). Even your little penis will abandon you.

It's really interesting seeing all these highly capable and financially independent people degrade themselves to become animals just to satisfy that urge. Maybe education really makes one dumber. Where's the morals? What if you go fool around, only to bring home some STDs for your husband/wife. What kind of kids will you raise? From what I know, you'll probably have a kid, throw him to a child development/care centre to raise bright kids, and go on fooling around. I'm beginning to see the future where these people walk around on all fours, with their tongues hanging out, and their dicks and pussies dripping, humping just about everything they see. Really, I see it. Maybe they'll even grow fur over their entire body, and use their moans to communicate.

Sorry for the rant, I'm not open-minded enough, I guess. If open-mindedness equates to behaving like animals, I'd rather not be open-minded =). Good night everyone.

20060505

Friends...

During the time my computer was down, I realised a lot of things. Or rather, re-realised a lot of things. Everytime my friends' computers are down, I'll try to help them. If I can I'll go over to their place, troubleshoot, and try my best to fix things. I'm not trying to say I'm good or nice or anything, but the thing is, for a friend, I'll try my best. There're many times I've stayed till 2am++ just to fix a friend's computer, and then take a cab home. Paid by myself. I don't complain, nor mind. Yet, when my computer was down, the people that I thought could help me refused to. All I needed was to borrow their system for an hour or so. So I can test my own hardware in their setup. Yet they refused to. It's sad when your friends "appreciate" you this way. Well, well. Thankfully, some of my friends came to my rescue. You know who you are, thank you, really. If you hadn't lent me your system I would have never found out the problem. Thanks for taking the trouble to drive all the way here from your house.

To my dearest Geri, thanks for being so patient and watching me troubleshoot my computer instead of spending time with you. Sorry =).

I don't feel like writing much recently, so I'll leave it at this. Just wanted to express my gratitude to those who were there.

Note: My computer is a very important tool in my life. I use it for my programming, and for gaming. Even more importantly, it's my only way to contact some friends. Last but not least, I like news in general (be it technological, political, etc.), and I use the internet all the time to keep up to date.

20060503

Computer Down =(

I finally got my computer back up after 2.5 days of downtime. Suspected problem is bad motherboard. Anyway, I'm back!

There's a lot on my mind now, will write another day. Anyway, Jimmy's an asshole.