20050529

Computer Maintenance + More

Well, a few days ago, I came home, and found out my sister somehow managed to get my PC infected with some spyware. Ad-Aware returned 1 result, and I cleaned it, of course. However, I didn't feel at ease. So today, I did some searching, and came across Spy Sweeper, by Webroot. It found 2 more spyware! Sigh =(. Anyway, it's a 30-day trial, but it works, and it works well. Give it a try at http://www.webroot.com.

Anyway, since it's been a long time since I played around with my computer (ok that sounds perverted), I did some "maintenance". Did a defragmentation, and ran all the virus/spyware scanners I have. Alright, it's just one antivirus software, and Ad-Aware, Spybot S & D, Spy Sweeper, CWShredder, and HijackThis! It was quite fun. Also, I cleaned my "Prefetch" folder. Read about it here.

That's all. I've been wanting to do a re-install of my OS for a long time, but I'm really lazy. Moreover it's still working well. The weird thing is, my sister always hangs it, and till now I've no idea why, or how. She simply tries playing a video file in Winamp and it hangs. I play audio and video files on Winamp all the time and nothing happens. Weird.

More on my life... I went to Boon Tiong's house around 12.30am and it's the first time in like 3 months that all the HDKs are together. Anyway, we went for supper, and then proceeded to buy some alcoholic drinks to my house. So it was a night of drinking and fun =).

Anyway, I slept at 5am, and woke up around 6.30am to go to Yio Chu Kang to collect some "Scholarship" cheque with my mother. Well, I got $350 for nothing, so I shan't complain. Went down to Ang Mo Kio after that for the Enzer warehouse sale. The stuff they sell is really cheap! $98 for a 256MB mp3 player. Anyway, my mother bought this mini hi-fi, and it costs only $58! It's not bad for it's price, seriously =).

Last but not least, to a friend, good luck with your girl... Cheer up!

Edit: Oh ya, and I bought 4D. Wish me good luck later on! HEHEHEHE.

Edit #2: When I walked into the darkness, no one tried stopping me. Similarly, as I watch you walk the path I did, I'm not stopping you.

20050527

School...

Well school starts for me next Monday. Sigh and yay. Don't really know if I'm looking forward to it or not, but I don't have a choice anyway.

Anyway, this is not targetted at anyone in particular, everyone in general. Well, whatever makes you happier. You know how some people claim to be your friends, only to talk all kinds of bull behind your back. Even when you know about it, and remain quiet, they go on doing their shit, as though they are actually right. Worse of all, when they see you, they smile and talk like they haven't done anything. Interesting. Well, if you really love whining so much, I can't stop you, can I? One can't help others unless that person's willing to help himself. You can't even be yourself, stop posing. Does being cool make you feel happier? You only give a damn about yourself, but have you ever wondered what your friends have done for you? Keep this in mind. A friend might not be doing things the way you want them to, but they probably mean you well. At the very least, they don't bullshit behind your back. You are all talk, really. Talking about friendships, about life, about love, about everything, LIKE YOU KNOW IT ALL. Think about it, do you? You only THINK you know. Even when you don't, you wear a mask and act like you do. Dude, I'm not a kid. If you intend to act, please act well. It's so damn easy to see through your mask, your facade.

As I've stated earlier, this isn't targetted at anyone. I love ranting. But if you're affected by what I've said it's probably you.

Alright, enough crap from me. On the brighter side of things, I finally bought a bag from Topman/Topshop today. Hehe. Maclean accompanied me, although he was quite noisy, complaining about going home late and whatnots. Like a wussy! Joking =P. Also, I've a Acer jacket! One of my colleagues didn't want his so I took it, thanks a lot!

Isolation isn't escaping from reality, it's to find out who I really am, what I really want, and where I really belong.

20050526

That's It.

I was watching some episodes from Friends Season 2 yesterday, and there's this episode in which Chandler constantly worries and complains about being single for life, about not getting married, because he keeps on breaking up with perfectly fine women just because of a single superficial flaw. Well, something to that extent. So he decided to change and at the end of the episode, he finds the girl he's going out with to have a head that's too big. It was quite funny. Pity I didn't watch Friends when they showed it on TV =(.

Anyway, today I think I saw the prettiest girl I've ever seen face to face. Really pretty, I don't even know what to say.

Finally An Update!

HI ALL, I'm updating, finally =). Been pretty busy for the past 2 weeks or so. The CEN Initialisation went well, although some, or should I say most, of the students weren't exactly enthusiastic =(. The ENG Orientation that took place after that was pretty fun as well. Got to make some friends, and whatnots. You see the amount of passion some people have, and you can't help but respect them.

Anyway, started working on Tuesday, although I didn't work today (Wednesday). Woke up feeling giddy, so yeah. I had a haircut yesterday, might be due to that. Lol. Now I look like an army boy =(. On another note, I got Alan to help me with buying a pair of Panasonic RP-HJE50 earphones through Yahoo! Auctions. They cost me $51.00 =(. Thanks to Alan for helping me pay first! Sometime around mid-June I might go for the Sony MDR-EX81 earphones as well. Well, it all depends on how much money I'll have at that time. Haha =).

So, life's pretty much still the same. Except I'm growing older. I think I more or less know what I'm going to do for the next few months or so. See you people around, let the love blossom, let the hate burn. Lol.

20050516

^_^

Alright, it's the CEN Initialisation in approximately 6 hours. As much as I'm looking forward to it, I'm really tired and worn out from all the working and club meetings. But hey, it's my juniors! I still have to make sure that everything goes well. Thankfully, my committee has been really great, all doing their respective jobs real well =). Wish us good luck!

On to what's been on with my life...

Hm, been busy working and having meetings... It's kind of fun though. Like you're busy all the time. That way, my mind won't wander off unnecessarily. However, I've still yet to change my sleeping habits. As a result, I'm almost always tired while I'm awake. Haha =P.

Nothing really significant happened for me to blog about, other than this one incident. I went to Sim Lim Square with Hilmi and Taufiq after work to get some printer catridges. While walking around trying to find the lowest price possible, Taufiq entered this shop. I can't remember the shop name, but it was selling all the Apple & Sony stuff. Anyway, found out that one of the salesgirl working there was from my primary school. We were even in the same class in primary three. Well, I couldn't remember her at that point in time. She couldn't remember my name either. Anyway, I got her number so we could keep in touch. It practically made my day. This doesn't happen everyday. Sometimes you see friends you haven't seen in 2 years and you already have problems remembering them, and we're talking about 10 years or so here. By the way, she's quite cute-looking =X.

After that, the three of us basically walked from place to place. We went to Beach Road where Taufiq literally spent 2 hours or so just to get some clothes =X. Walked to Bugis after that. Taufiq left shortly after, and again, it's me and Hilmi. We had nothing to do, and simply walked around, sight-seeing. Went to Seiyu, and saw some really nice stuff. There's this Renoma bag that's super classy. $336 dollars though =(.

Anyway, we took bus 10 from somewhere around Esplanade (yes, we walked there), and I basically slept throughout the bus ride. It was quite an interesting ride though. There was a couple in front of me, and many a times when I woke up I could see how much the girl was enjoying being touched by the guy ^_^. The facial expressions, I tell you, it's cool. OMG! *Klok* Bee Lay! I think Hilmi slept throughout the ride as well. Anyway, went off to Boon Tiong's house after that, where I had a good time with the HDKs.

Ever had the feeling you don't really know what's going on with yourself? Like, one moment you want to do this, yet the next time you're completely opposed to what you planned to do. Like you don't even know what you want.

That's all. Bye bye =P. I'm off to sleep. Got to wake up in 3 hours... ZzZzZzZ.

20050513

On May 12, I was around Somerset's MRT Station when I saw this man walking around by dragging himself with his arms. He seemed to have been wounded, as there were bandages around his arms and on his face. At that point in time, all I did was to wonder if he's alright, if it's because he can't use his legs at all. All I did was to watch. After a while, he dragged himself past me, and my friends, and all I did was to continue watching. Shortly after, a lady went to him. It seemed like she gave him some cash, and she also asked if he's alright. The lady then went off. I watched on, and the man actually closed his eyes, and clasped his hands together, praying. At that point in time, I really wanted to go forward and help him, maybe give him some of my money or something. But I didn't. I remain rooted to the ground, not knowing what I should do. I kept on wondering what I can do to help, when all I could, and should, have done was to approach him and ask if he's alright. At the very least, he could be happy in knowing that someone else bothered. But I didn't. I only watched on, just like the hundreds of thousands of people who did the same thing, as this man dragged himself on, probably in a country he wasn't even born in.

To this man, I know you won't be reading this, but I really hope you're fine. Sorry, that all I could do was watch on, just like everyone else. Just like the society I dislike so much. Really, sorry.

20050510

2U

Hey, you examinations ended today right? All the best for your results =).

20050508

.

There's so many things on my mind, yet I can't write anything about them at all. Everytime I get some inspiration to write, I end up not knowing where, or how, to start.

I could've sworn I know exactly what I want to write a few minutes ago, but the moment I try, I'm stuck.

I think somewhere in me, I've already given up.

Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there! I doubt anyone who's a mother reads this blog though. Haha =P.
I've been thinking so much of the future, that I've completely lost touch with the present.

Every once in a while, I get this feeling that I want to be stronger and whatnots, that I know exactly what I want in life. However, this doesn't last. Everything just holds no meaning.

I don't know anything, really.

a1 - Everytime
[MARK:] LATELY I'M NOT WHO I USED TO BE
SOMEONE'S COME AND TAKEN ME
WHERE I DON'T WANNA GO
IF I KNEW EXACTLY WHAT I HAVE TO DO
IN ORDER TO BE THERE FOR YOU
WHEN YOU WERE FEELING LOW

[BEN:] AND ALL THE THINGS WE EVER WANTED
WERE ONCE YOURS AND MINE
NOW, I KNOW WE CAN REVIVE IT
ALL THE LOVE WE LEFT

[PAUL:] EVERYTIME I KISS I FEEL YOUR LIPS AND
EVERYTIME I CRY I SEE YOUR SMILE AND
EVERYTIME I CLOSE MY EYES I REALISE THAT
EVERYTIME I HOLD YOUR HAND IN MINE
THE SWEETEST THING MY HEART COULD EVER FIND
AND I HAVE NEVER FELT THIS WAY
SINCE THE DAY I GAVE YOUR LOVE AWAY

[CHRISTIAN:] SAVE ME, I'VE FALLEN FROM MY DESTINY
YOU AND I WERE MEANT TO BE
I'VE THROWN IT ALL AWAY
NOW YOU'RE GONE
IT'S TIME FOR ME TO CARRY ON
BUT BABY I JUST CAN'T GO ON
WITHOUT YOU BY MY SIDE

[BEN:] AND ALL THE THINGS WE EVER WANTED
WERE ONCE YOURS AND MINE
NOW, I KNOW WE CAN REVIVE IT
ALL THE LOVE WE LEFT

[PAUL:] EVERYTIME I KISS I FEEL YOUR LIPS AND
EVERYTIME I CRY I SEE YOUR SMILE AND
EVERYTIME I CLOSE MY EYES I REALISE THAT
EVERYTIME I HOLD YOUR HAND IN MINE
THE SWEETEST THING MY HEART COULD EVER FIND
AND I HAVE NEVER FELT THIS WAY
SINCE THE DAY I GAVE YOUR LOVE AWAY

[BEN:] WE CAN SURVIVE IT
ALL THE PAIN WE FEEL INSIDE
YOU RELIED ON ME AND NOW I'VE LET YOU DOWN
NOW, I PROMISE YOU FOREVER
I WILL BE THE BEST I CAN
NOW, I KNOW WE CAN REVIVE IT
ALL THE LOVE WE LEFT

[PAUL:] EVERYTIME I KISS I FEEL YOUR LIPS AND
EVERYTIME I CRY I SEE YOUR SMILE AND
EVERYTIME I CLOSE MY EYES I REALISE THAT
EVERYTIME I HOLD YOUR HAND IN MINE
THE SWEETEST THING MY HEART COULD EVER FIND
AND I HAVE NEVER FELT THIS WAY
SINCE I GAVE YOUR LOVE AWAY

EVERYTIME I KISS I FEEL YOUR LIPS AND
EVERYTIME I CRY I SEE YOUR SMILE AND
EVERYTIME I CLOSE MY EYES I REALISE THAT
EVERYTIME I HOLD YOUR HAND IN MINE
THE SWEETEST THING MY HEART COULD EVER FIND
AND I HAVE NEVER FELT THIS WAY
SINCE THE DAY I GAVE YOUR LOVE AWAY
Source: http://www.azlyrics.com/

Nine Inch Nails - All The Love In The World

Watching all the insects march along
Seem to know right where they belong
Smears of face reflecting in the chrome
Hiding in the crowd i'm all alone

Noone's heard a single word I've said
They don't sound as good outside my head
It looks as if the past is here to stay
I've become a million miles a--

Why do you get all the love in the world? [x2]

All the jagged edges dissapear
Colors all look brighter when you're near
The stars are all a fire in the sky
Sometimes I get soo lonely I could--

Why do you get all the love in the world
Source: http://www.azlyrics.com/

20050506

In case you don't know, most people don't exactly like you. Your fucking ego, self-centred ideas will take you nowhere. Seriously. I've been keeping quiet, that's all. In fact I find it pointless to even quarrel with you. Other than money, what do you have that I do not have? Do I not supercede you in just about everything? Even then, I always refrain from insulting someone I consider a friend.

But then, you do not do the same thing. You care only about yourself. You insult your friends like they're dirt, like they're simply tools for you to use. Go figure. Can you really keep to your word? At the very least, the people you scolded on your blog are good friends. Money? Use people? Don't talk what you can't walk. If it wasn't for the sake of some people I would've done what you did; putting your name here openly, in spite of the fact that I am a fucking hypocrite, smiling at you even when I hate it. I've my reasons, and no, it's not to use you like a tool. I simply hate acting cool and finding trouble, nothing else.

Moreover, I don't intend to spoil everyone's mood just because of you. Think about it, how would you feel if I publicly insult you in front of all your friends? Hm, must be cool right?

You whine about your life, when the fact is you're probably much better off than most of us. I can get a girlfriend? Just that I don't want to? Sorry, unlike you, I don't intend to go steady with just about any girl.

It's because of people like you that makes me wonder, "WHAT'S THE USE OF FRIENDS WHEN THEY'RE ONLY OUT TO USE YOU?" But then again, I've great friends around me. HDKs, D4SH, some of the CENT people, Alan and friends, and others. These are the people who were there when I needed them, whether I whined or not. If you intend to whine about your life, go whine to the wall, since every single advice others give you is considered "stupid" anyway. Since we don't understand you.

Friends? You know, I really thought you were a friend. I even covered your ass and didn't do many things I could've done. Even when close friends like H tell me you're probably an asshole. When you trust, you get betrayed? Look who's betraying who.

20050502

- Stop using vulgarities as much as possible.
- Do more good deeds.
- Enjoy life.

How? =(
Sometimes I can see the beauty in everyone, but most of the time I see the ugliness in everyone. That, of course, includes myself.

For a long time I've been fighting. Fighting against the tendency to simply judge someone based on looks. I thought I've succeeded, but then again, it's "thought".

If I could I would really like to overcome evil with good, to take things easy, to look on the bright side all the time, to be able to forgive and not bear any grudges, the list goes on. I'm able to do that every once in a while, and when I do I feel happy. But after that, I'll probably ask myself "For what?"

Forget it, I don't know what I'm talking about.