20050928

Aftermath

Ok, I don't exactly feel happy, because it wasn't us who got to present =(. It went well anyway, so yup... =). I want to write about other things anyway.

So it's 4.30am and I'm awake. I don't have to be early for school or anything later on. Yay!

I don't know what's going on in this world anymore. There're people that I wish I could get rid of, seriously. I don't even know why they want to act all familiar with me and shit when they're causing me so much trouble. Fucking hell I wish you would just get out of my life. I don't really know you anyway, and don't intend to know you that well. When you tried committing suicide, why didn't you die?

You aren't even 18, yet you're talking about stuff like loving someone forever, being just someone's tool, and whatnots. Get a hold of your hormones. Your friends are pretty cool too. "i wan euu shoo muchh butt i dunch thinkx euu wan mii animoree" Oh my god, my eyes. You talk about loving someone and shit, when you obviously have no love for your parents.

What the fuck is wrong with you all? Making use of others' sufferings for your own happiness. Read between the lines, maybe you know I'm talking about you, or maybe you don't. It doesn't matter, it's just a rant, and this isn't really targetted at anyone in particular.

You know, sometimes it's weird when someone you didn't even notice back then suddenly becomes someone that's constantly on your mind, and in a very bad way. Back then = 3 years or so. It sucks, and the worst of all, you didn't even have a say in it. It wasn't your choice. Like, A makes friends with someone you treasure a lot, and leads your loved one astray. A.

^_^

20050927

Die Forgotten.

Ok, the presentation got postponed till today =). I've more or less recovered, so yay! Wish me all the best for later =)!

I think it's a really sad thing to be forgotten, whether you're dead or not. It just sucks. I think. Let's say, you die. If you believe in a Heaven and a Hell, then good or bad for you, depending on which one you go to. If you end up in Heaven, you'd probably have peace and happiness for all of eternity (if eternity does exists). If you end up in Hell, too bad. I don't know if there's a Heaven or a Hell, but I do know when you die everything's gone. You know, all your dreams, your friends, your family, your everything. Actually they aren't gone, you're the one that's gone. Like, if there's an afterlife, you'll be seeing everyone crying for you. Mourning for you. Maybe they'll get over you after a while. Some might remember you, but some WILL forget you. What if the people who forget you are those you really hold dear? It's scary. If there's no afterlife, you'll just die, get eaten up by maggots, the end. I think. I don't know.

I don't know if I'm scared of death, but I'm sure I'm scared of being forgotten. Like I never existed. The sad thing is, I don't have to die to be forgotten. Some of my friends might just forget me one day, and I might also forget some of my friends.
All the friendship, the feelings, everyone, gone. To be forgotten is such a sad thing. It's like you never made any impact in his/her life. Whether you were there or not doesn't matter. Just another stranger. I don't know why I'm writing this either. I might forget I wrote this when I wake up. Seriously. If you don't remember it, it never happened. If no one remembers you, you never existed. Something like that, heard it before? I think it's quite true.

I think sometimes I just write plain crap.

20050926

Long Post... Maybe

It's 12.28am now, September 26. I think it's the day my SIP group has been looking forward to, wanting to get over and done with it as soon as possible. We'll be presenting to someone important later, and I don't know about the rest, but I'm pretty excited and worried at the same time. Anyway, after today, I think I will take a break from my SIP for a while. Probably a week at most. Whatever it is, please wish us all the best for the presentation!

It's been really tiring doing this project, but I've to admit, it's really fun and satisfying at the end of it all. I probably learnt more during this semester than any of the others added together. 3.1 was, and probably will remain, my busiest semester ever. You've your project, you've your club(s), you've your family (which isn't exactly going very well), you've your friends, and you've your personal life (which is going pretty well). So there you have it, some things good, some things bad, some things you just rather not give a damn about.

I've been giving my best to the project ever since it started, and I know some of my group members are too. It'll be really nice if we can complete everything. I don't know if I'm allowed to talk about what my project is about here, so I better not. Whatever it is, it's something really cool. So, tomorrow's finally the day, and I fall sick =(. The main point of this paragraph is, I really want to recover. I need to =P.

Ok, enough about my project. On to school life in general. Seriously, I hate it sometimes. SIP itself has already given me problems, but I'm able to deal with it properly, because it's something you already expect. I frequently have conflicts with one of my group members about how to go about coding/solving some stuff, but at the end of it all we fix the problem, and more importantly, we're still friends, and group members. You've some problems with your supervisors and lecturers, but that's fine with me also. Sometimes it's our fault, sometimes it's the upper management, but whatever it is, it's all good with me as long as it helps the project.

However, when you're getting problems and shit from things/people you're supposed to have fun with, it's really irritating. I don't want to go into details here, but some of my closer friends should know what I'm talking about. Whatever it is, don't force your ideas on others, just because you think it's wrong, or disrespectful, or whatever. First of all, you aren't involved, you simply saw it happening. Secondly, I hate being someone I'm not just to please you all. Lastly, if I can tolerate you behaving like someone you aren't just to please the rest, please show some basic respect for someone who's simply being himself and having fun.

Ok, I'm lazy to blog on. I just woke up a while ago, and I intend to get back to sleep soon. Good night people! Dumb dumb =P.

20050913

Upd8

Ok I was supposed to sleep like 1.5 hours ago, but I've been relaxing and listening to songs instead. Anyway, I'm going to school in like 7 hours' time, and it's coding, coding, and more coding again. BUT, I'm also going to have fun! Why?

Firstly, we've already met the project objectives, so now it's mostly adding in more features. We'll be going down to Philips on Wednesday and Thursday to set-up the stuff, and also, we might have to present to them. Hopefully not! I personally would want to fine-tune and fix all the bugs before presenting. I don't want to present a buggy project =(. Anyway, I'm looking forward to coding and integrating and whatever tomorrow!

Secondly, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, I'm going to Seoul Garden with my friends and her! Yay =P.

Ok, life's been pretty good to me recently =D. I wish I could work though =P. $_$

Lastly, enjoy the lyrics. I like Eric Clapton's version more, but =P.

Damage - Wonderful Tonight
Intro

Tonight, Tonight, Tonight
Tonight, Tonight, Tonight
Tonight, Tonight, Tonight

Verse 1

It’s late in the evening
She’s wondering what clothes to wear
She puts on her make-up
And brushes her long brown hair
And then she asks me
Do I look alright?
And I say yes
You look wonderful tonight

Du, lu, lu, lu..., oh, oh, oh, oh..., lu, lu, lu, lu..., lu, lu, lu, lu...

Verse 2

We go to a party
And everyone turns to see
This beautiful lady (Beautiful lady)
Who’s walkin' around with me, yeah...
And then she asks me
Do I feel alright?
(I say) And I say yes
I feel wonderful tonight

Tonight, Tonight, Tonight

Bridge

(Oh...) I feel wonderful
Because I see
The love that’s right in your eyes
And the wonder of it all
Is that you just don't realize
How much I love you (I really do)

Verse 3

It’s time to go home now (Yes, it is)
And I’ve got an aching head
So I give her the car keys
And she helps me into bed
And then I tell her as I turn down the lights
I say, darling, you were wonderful tonight

Hey, hey..., I said, darling, you were wonderful tonight

Repeat/Fade Out

You look wonderful, you’re everything I need and more
You look wonderful, so beautiful tonight
You look wonderful, you never leave me wanting more
You look wonderful, so beautiful tonight

Source: http://www.lyrics4all.net/

Ok, good night! =)

Edit: I've changed the song to "I Caught Fire" by The Used.

20050908

Happy Birthday To Myself *Updated*

Hello, it's finally my birthday =)! Thanks to all the following who have wished me so far =P.

Before 12am:
Murni
Judy
Maclean

Exactly At 12am =P:
Geri =P

After 12am:
Josephine
John
Poh Tiam
Nicholas
Terry
Kelvin
Aunt Alicia
Jeremy
Aunt Helen
Chin Ming
Joven
Hong Wen
Alan
Ethelyn
Hilmi
Asheeq
Yiren
Jie Yan
Dian

MUM AND DAD! & Sister!

To all those that I forgot, sorry! =P

^_^ I'm old and sad now =P.

Update (2.42am, Sep 9):
Anyway, I had a good birthday! I just found out from my mum that my Lunar birthday falls on the same day as my actual birthday this year. She says it happens once every 19 years or something. Although I didn't celebrate with any of my friends, I had a really great time with someone special =). Thanks for being so sweet! I love that video! =D

On another note, I'll probably be having a late celebration with Maclean and the rest sometime next week. Yay!

I'm 19 now! 19 years and 1 day old! =D

20050906

Life + Lyrics

The school semester is finally over, SIP has officially ended, but I still have to return to school everyday to finish up my project. My group has to demonstrate a fully-working prototype by this Friday, September 9. Great! Exactly one day after my birthday. I can't even fully enjoy my birthday without any worries. Anyway, other than that, my life's been pretty good, school- and personal-wise.

Personal life's been going great =). <3

Family-wise, I don't really know what to say. My sister seems to be getting from bad to worse each day. She doesn't live with my mother and I anymore. By right, she should be living with my father. However, the truth is, she's not. She's treating my father's house as a hotel. Returning only to bathe and whatnots. It seems she got in touch with my maternal grandmother recently. I hate to say it, and I really feel sad when I think about it, but I feel she's only "keeping in touch" for money. Sigh. Sometimes I wonder why humans change so much within a span of a few months. Anyway, I hope she'll stop and wake up from whatever she's doing now and actually live. Instead of wasting her life away.

Anyway, enjoy the lyrics below. I really like both songs =).

The Used - I Caught Fire
Seemed to stop my breath
My head on your chest
Waiting to cave in
From the bottom of my...
Hear your voice again
Could we dim the sun
And wonder where we've been
Maybe you and me
So kiss me like you did
My heart stopped beating
Such a softer sin

(I'm melting, I'm melting)
In your eyes
I lost my place
Could stay a while

And I'm melting
In your eyes
Like my first time
That I caught fire
Just stay with me
Lay with me
Now

Never caught my breath
Every second I'm without you I'm a mess
Ever know each other
Trust these words are stones
why cuts aren't healing
Learning how to love

I'm melting (I'm melting)
In your eyes
I lost my place
Could stay a while
And I'm melting
In your eyes
Like my first time
That I caught fire
Just stay with me
Lay with me
(Stay with me lay with me now)

You could stay and watch me fall
And of course I'll ask for help
Just stay with me now
We could take our heads off
stay in bed and just make love that's all
Just stay with me now

I'm melting (I'm melting)
In your eyes
I lost my place
Could stay a while
and I'm melting

In your eyes
Like my first time
That I caught fire
Just stay with me
Lay with me
In your eyes
I lost my place
Could stay a while
and I'm melting
In your eyes
Like my first time
That I caught fire
Just stay with me lay with me
(Stay with me, lay with me)

In your eyes
Let's sleep till the sun burns out
I'm melting in your eyes (I'm melting in your eyes)
In your eyes
Let's sleep till the sun burns out
I'm melting in your eyes

The Used - Let It Bleed
This poison’s my intoxication.
I broke the needle off in my skin.
Picked the scabs and pick the bleeding.
And assumed that it was all in vain.
A positive scab that's never healing.
Calloused hit me in the face.
A burning bridge thats's so misleading.
Poison’s more potent now with the flame.

Let it bleed.
And take the red for what it's worth, whoa.
Watch the fire.
Fill your lungs with smoke for the last time.
If you feel like dying, you might wanna sing.

The fire department couldn't drown the city.
They didn't even try to wash it clean.
What did you think, that I was sober?
Put me out cause I'm on fucking fire.
A positive scab that's never healing.
Regret that I kept this clean.
The most that I can do for you is keep on lying.
It's not a lie if you can let it sing.

Let it bleed.
And take the red for what it's worth, whoa.
Watch the fire.
Fill your lungs with smoke for the last time.
If you feel like dying you might wanna’ SING!

OH, OH, OH, OH YOU MIGHT WANNA SING!!
HA, HA, HA YOU MIGHT WANNA SING!!
HA, HA, YOU MIGHT WANNA SING!!
HA, HA SING!!!!!!!
YOU MIGHT WANNA SING!!
YOU MIGHT WANNA SING!!
YOU MIGHT WANNA SING OR SCREAM IT!!

This poison’s my intoxication.
I broke the needle off in my skin.
Picked the scabs and picked the bleeding.
Yeah, assume that it was all in vain.

Let it bleed.
And take the red for what it's worth, whoa.
Watch the fire.
Momma fill your lungs with smoke for the last time.
If you feel like dying.
If you feel like dying.
If you feel like dying, you might wanna’ SING!
HA, HA, HA YOU MIGHT WANNA SING!!
HA, YOU MIGHT WANNA SING!!
YOU MIGHT WANNA SING OR SCREAM IT!!!!

Source: http://www.sing365.com/