20050621

Look Away

Hey, you're still really sweet =). Thanks for your concern, I appreciate it =). Take care, and all the best in whatever you do!

Chicago - Look Away
When you called me up this morning,
Told me ’bout the new love you found,
I’m said I’m happy for you,
I’m really happy for you.
Found someone else,
I guess I won’t be coming ’round.
I guess it’s over, baby;
It’s really over, baby, whoa...
And from what you said
I know you’ve gotten over me;
It’ll never be the way it used to be.
So if it’s gotta be this way,
Don’t worry, baby, I can take the news okay.

But if you see me walking by,
And the tears are in my eyes,
Look away, baby, look away.
If we meet on the streets someday,
And I don’t know what to say,
Look away, baby, look away.
Don’t look at me;
I don’t want you to see me this way.

When we both agreed as lovers,
We were better off as friends,
That’s how it had to be,
Yeah, that’s how it had to be.
I tell you I’m fine
But sometimes I just pretend;
Wish you were holding me,
Wish you were still holding me, whoa...
I just never thought,
That I would be replaced so soon;
I wasn’t prepared to hear those words from you.
I know I wanted to be free;
Yeah, baby, this is how we wanted it to be.

But if you see me waling by,
And the tears are in my eyes,
Look away, baby, look away.
If we meet on the streets someday,
And I don’t know what to say,
Look away, baby, look away.
Don’t look at me;
I don’t want you to see me this way.

[repeat chorus 2x]

When you called me up this morning,
Told me ’bout the new love you found.
I said I’m happy for you,
I’m really happy for you.
Source: http://www.lyricsfreak.com/

20050617

Standard.

Alright, the results of the ESC Election is out. Wei Jian will be the new ESC President, while Janice will be the new Vice-President. Myself, I came in 5th position for the most number of votes, so I won't know my position till the meeting with the rest of the new ESC Committee. Anyway, congratulations to everyone who got in, and special thanks to all those that voted for me. Jeremy got in as well! =)

On another note, some people are already playing games. Sigh. It's quite sad, especially when you really thought of them as friends. They try psyching you into taking other positions, so they can have the positions they want, and whatnots. I wouldn't mind taking any position to be honest, provided everyone is actually selfless. However, this isn't a perfect world. People fight for power, not because they know they're capable enough to serve the school, but for their own stupid reasons. It's quite sad to see all these when we, the new committee, have not even officially stepped up. Anyway, other than a select few, I think it would be fun working with everyone!

Recently, I started talking to people that I haven't been talking to for ages (MSN Messenger, SMS). It's fun in a way, but then again, I realise I'm just a form of entertainment to some of them. Well, well. There're the really interesting ones that want to know what you look like before continuing a conversation. It's a sin to be ugly, it seems. This world is just so fucking superficial. If these people could take a look at themselves, they'll probably see they're rotten inside. Anyway, it might seem like I'm whining, but hey, whatever makes you happy.

I'm not trying to sound all angelic and shit, I won't deny I do care about how a girl looks like. But that wouldn't stop me from being friends with anyone, pretty, ugly, or pretty ugly. However, I won't want a friend who's ugly inside, no matter how pretty she is. It spoils my mood completely.

Anyway, was blog-surfing just now to kill some. Saw one of my friend's friend's blog, and it seems that she just broke up. Anyway, it's pretty sad to see someone giving up all hope on love, and shit just because someone broke his/her heart. So yeah... =(. Personally, I always ask myself, "What if it wasn't love to begin with?" Then again, it might be self-consoling, but it gives me hope, so who cares? Of course, I do miss the sweet times, and still dream of her every now and then, and still feel that it was love. Lol... That doesn't mean I can't hope, right? Maybe love is something I haven't experienced yet. Fuck, I'm a self-consoling fool. All I'm *really* trying to say is, have some hope, love does exist. Among friends and family. Surely love between two people has to exist too, right? Otherwise most of us wouldn't be here. If our parents didn't fall in love and made love, you wouldn't even be here. I said MOST, of course there're the minority, but I'm not going to elaborate. Sorry =).

I love listening to sad, depressing love songs when I'm sad. To some, it makes them feel worse. To me, it gives me this sense of enlightenment. No idea why, but it helps me accept things more. So here's a song for all the heartbroken ones out there:

Nine Days - Wanna Be
To watch the leaves grow on the trees with you
Is out of question
I walk into this summer all alone
The usual session
You feel your instinct then you act
But was it your intention?
To leave me down and broken
Now you've ended our ascension

I still can feel the beach sand in my shoes
Remember when?
We talked along the ocean's song
'Til blue from black fade in
But that was then I learned to live
Without you far within
I ask you why you're back to try
To let me lose again

You brought me here
You wet my taste
You disappear
Without a trace
It wasn't me who made the call

'Cause now I wanna be
Where you sleep
Where you laugh
Where you breathe
And I hate to say
Still I swear
Brown your eyes
Gone away

Should I feel some closure
I deserve if that at least
And would you be so kind to show
Reasons for your release
You woke me up from a distant past
I left behind complete
The message that you sent that night
Now falls to bittersweet

Or was it me?
My honesty
You fail to show
I never know
It wasn't me who made the call

'Cause now I wanna be
Where you sleep
Where you laugh
Where you breathe
And I hate to say
Still I swear
Brown your eyes
Gone away

Was it me?
My honesty
You fail to show
I never know
You brought me here
You wet my taste
You disappear
Without a trace
Did you think I'd ever lead you wrong?
Just know I'll save all of our moments
That we are

And still I wanna be
Where you sleep
Where you laugh
Where you breathe
And I hate to say
Still I swear
Brown your eyes
Gone away

Now I wanna be
Someday you'll wish you never
Where you sleep
Someday you'll wish you never
Where you laugh
Someday you'll wish you never
Where you breathe
Someday you'll wish you never
And I hate to say
Someday you'll wish you never
Still I swear
Someday you'll wish you never
Brown your eyes
Someday you'll wish you never
Gone away
Someday you'll wish you never
You took it all the way (and)
You took it all away
Source: http://www.sing365.com/

CHEER UP! Don't attitude LA!

Site Update: Hope you all like the new song. Thanks to Geri for the song! She sent it to me quite some time ago though =P.

20050615

Re.

Imagine watching someone precious to you becoming less and less of the person you knew with each passing day. You're just an observer, someone who probably understands the most, but has the least power. You can try to bring the old her back, but you'd probably die trying. Or maybe, you already know, whatever you do, the old her's never coming back. You can't do anything, can you? All you can do is watch and ache. Watch her change as your heart aches. Tell me, what would you do?

No, I'm not even saying that you love her. Maybe you loved her. Even then, she was, and will probably be someone precious to you for the rest of your life. What would you do? Move on with life, and act like this person never existed? Or keep holding on, hoping that someday the old her will return, maybe not as a lover, but at least as a friend. At least, as someone you can recognize. What would you do?

Add that to the fact that you're currently facing more problems than the average person at your age should face, what would you do? You hate whining, and the truth is, you do feel lucky compared to others around you. Yet, these problems affect you so much they tear your sould apart. So what if you're good results, or good whatever? Who's there to share the joy? Who's there to share the pain? You were never the type who could ignore the problems. You just keep challenging them, until they're all solved. Yet, every once in a while, something without a solution comes up. So, what would you do?

You probably want to find someone to blame, yet the only person you can think of happens to be someone who was, and still is, very precious to you. Even then, you feel like a product of all the games played by everyone around you. A product without a will. A product of this society. What would you do? You'd probably still hug her when you see her. No, not probably. You know you'll still hug her, and just wish that time stops. Yet, you also know that some things once gone, will never return again. As much as people always say nothing's impossible, you know it yourself, that some things are really impossible.

As though that's not bad enough, you come across things that completely shatter your beliefs. Even some of your friends turn out to be completely different from what you thought they were.

Why did things turn out this way, when all you ever wished for was for a little happiness, together with all the precious ones around you?

20050609

Shameless Plug

Update, Finally.

I've been trying to blog for the past few days, but each time after I type a paragraph, I've no idea what to write next. So I always end up signing out, without actually posting anything. There's just so much on my mind, yet so little of them can actually be phrased into proper sentences by me.

A lot of things have happened recently, not just to me, but around me. First of all, a friend's mother passed away recently. Let's all pray for a moment for their family. I don't know what else to say, but to my friend, we're all here if you need anything.

From that incident, I've come to realise how fragile a human life really is. You know, we constantly whine about our problems. What problems? What is "hate" compared to the feeling of losing someone you love? No girlfriend? No boyfriend? Get a life, move on. I'm ashamed of my constant complaining as well. To my friend, you're really strong, and I respect that.

Other than that, SIP has already started for me like a week ago. It's been quite fun, working with Wee Quan and Willie. Both of them are really dependable. We've been doing a lot of research, and it's honestly very fun working with them. Willie and I have managed to come up with a couple of applications that are important to our project, while Wee Quan is constantly working hard, trying to grasp and understand VB.NET. The other group working with us is working hard as well. Yay!

However, where there's good, there's bad. Sadly, I'm stuck in the lab with people who I'd rather have nothing to do with. The same people who caused others to take sides, and whatnots. Cool. One of them seems to have an eye problem. He constantly stares at us. Not us, as in my group. But us, as in nearly everyone he doesn't know. I think he's trying hard to remember our faces. Another one constantly acts like he doesn't give a damn about you, but while I was explaining code the other day he tried listening. Also, he loves staring too. However, similar poles repel. Whenever I look back at them they turn away. I don't stare, to begin with. I simply make eye contact and try to smile, but by the time my mouth starts curling their heads start bowing! Damn. They're really sensitive too. Like the other day Jeremy opened the door for me and I was talking to him, and somehow I got accused of scolding one of them. Lol. Talk about self-conscious. He went on to tell Andrew not to talk to me. Hey boy, how about I give you a sweet and you be my friend? Anyway, as though that wasn't enough, Mr. Eye Problem decided to pass some rather sarcastic comments towards one of my group mates! In spite of the fact that my group mate helped him install Visual Studio .NET 2003. Yeah, we play games 24/7, according to him. Well, it's better than behaving like a boot-licker 24/7 anyway, so, whatever makes him happy! Anyway I'll probably talk to them soon, although they'll definitely back out on their words again.

But I'm thankful, I'm not one of you. To someone who might or might not be a friend, get a backbone.

Anyway, enough about my SIP so far. It's 98% fun, 1% tiring, and 1% irritating. That 1% irritating would be gone soon. I'm learning how to ignore people who aren't needed.

You know, to me, you're either a friend, or you're not. There's no in between. However, to some people, they categorize friends. "Useful friends.", "Useless junk.", etc. To them, a friend is USEFUL, not helpful. Haha.

Last but not least, I received good news today! I got into the Director's List again =). Hehe. My mother and father were both very happy when they heard it ^_^. Also, someone whose name I shan't mentioned was very happy for me too =). Also, Raj told me some good news regarding Nicholas. HEHE ^_^.

Alright, see all of you again sometime soon!

20050606

U2 - With Or Without You

See the stone set in your eyes
See the thorn twist in your side
I wait for you

Sleight of hand and twist of fate
On a bed of nails she makes me wait
And I wait without you

With or without you
With or without you

Through the storm we reach the shore
You give it all but I want more
And I’m waiting for you

With or without you
With or without you
I can’t live
With or without you

And you give yourself away
And you give yourself away
And you give
And you give
And you give yourself away

My hands are tied
My body bruised, she’s got me with
Nothing to win and
Nothing left to lose

And you give yourself away
And you give yourself away
And you give
And you give
And you give yourself away

With or without you
With or without you
I can’t live
With or without you

With or without you
With or without you
I can’t live
With or without you
With or without you

Source: http://www.lyricsfreak.com/

20050605

I think I've lost the ability to blog recently. Bye.

20050602

Backstreet Boys - Incomplete

Empty spaces fill me up with holes
Distant faces with no place left to go
Without you within me I can’t find no rest
Where I’m going is anybody’s guess

I’ve tried to go on like I never knew you
I’m awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete

Voices tell me I should carry on
But I am swimming in an ocean all alone
Baby, my baby
It’s written on your face
You still wonder if we made a big mistake

I’ve tried to go on like I never knew you
I’m awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete

I don’t mean to drag it on, but I can’t seem to let you go
I don’t wanna make you face this world alone
I wanna let you go (alone)

I’ve tried to go on like I never knew you
I’m awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete

Incomplete

Source: http://www.sing365.com/