20050727

Luna Sea - I For You

Romanji:
neh hontou wa dalehmo
neh aisehnai to iwaleh teh
kowagali no kimi to deh ai
yatto sono imi ni kizuita

kizutsuku tameh ima futali
deh atta nala kanashi sugiluyo

kokolo kala kimi ni tsutaeh tai
kitto tada hontou no kimi no sugata o motomehteh

mada bukiyou ni walau neh
mada kanashimi ga niau kala

kimi to deh a-u tameh dakeh ni
sou umaleh tanala kaeh lalehlu kana...

kokolo kala kimi ni tsutaeh tai
kizutsuki sugita kehdo mada mani a-u yo
kokolo kala kimi o aishitehlu
kimi ni fulu itami o nugutteh ageh tai
subehteh I for You

kokolo kala kimi ni tsutaeh tai
kimi no ehgao itsumo mitsumeh lalehtala
kokolo kala kimi o aishitehlu
kimi ni fulu hikali o atsumeh teh agehtai
subehteh I for You

Translation:
You told me
That you couldn't love anybody
I finally realised what you meant
When I saw that you were afraid of everybody

How ironic is it
If us two met
only to get hurt?

With all my heart
I have to tell you this
All I want to see is the real YOU

You still don't smile very well
Because even now, you still wear sadness around you

If the only reason I was born
was so I could meet you,
do you think I'll be able to change everything?

With all my heart
I have to tell you this
We're hurt, but we've still got time
With all my love
I love you
I want to wipe away
All the pain that falls on you
I for You

With all my heart
I have to tell you this
If only you could smile at me like that
forever...
With all my love
I love you
I want to gather every piece of light
and give it all to you
I for You

Source: http://www.geocities.co.jp/MusicStar-Piano/1957/lyrics/

20050726

I don't know what to blog about. Damn it. Some people are able to blog everything they feel, or experience, but I think I can't. There're some things you just have problems putting into words.

Anyway, hope all of you are doing fine! =)

Edit:
Finally thought of something to write. I like wasting time. Doing nothing at all. Like, just lie on my bed, listening to some music. Usually I end up forgetting I'm actually listening to music. Like everything just disappears from your mind. That feeling's really nice. Like you're actually free. Free, unbounded to anything. Like you can just do everything you like without even giving a damn about anyone, or anything. Well, well. Then again, once you "wake up", everything comes flooding back into you, and you go like "WTF."

So yup. That's my entry. You know you can never be really free. Sad, but true. I think. At least I can't.

20050716

To My Dearest Sister

Recently I found out that my sister hasn't been attending school. Since school started 3 weeks ago, she's only present for 5 times. All these while, none of my parents, nor myself, suspected anything.

Then her teacher gave my mother a call, and my mother told me. My mother was patient and calm about it. She told me she'd wait for my sister to come home, then talk to her properly. I felt it wasn't fair if my father doesn't know about it, so I gave him a call. He got one of his close friends, who's quite close to my sister, to help. Somehow, my sister decided that not coming home would be the best thing to do. She'd probably say, "I want to be alone and think through things." or something similar.

When my mother was sick for nearly the whole of last week, where were you? Mother was sick, down with this virus that makes her really giddy, and she still worked hard for you. The last time we talked properly, you said I didn't care about you anymore. Do I not? I barely have time for myself, and I almost never see you at home. The only time you're at home is when both mother and I are at work and in school, respectively. The only time you're at home is when you're skipping your lessons. Kinda cool, right? Skipping lessons with your friends, and bringing all of them to OUR house. Dirtying OUR house. Those fucking friends of yours who would probably kill and steal for a living. I'd really like to meet them one day. By then, you'd probably be one of them as well.

You know what? Each time you decided to run away from home, mother couldn't sleep the whole night. Father calls me repeatedly. I ALMOST ALWAYS END UP QUARRELLING WITH BOTH OF THEM. In fact, I do. What the fuck do you know? You already know father and mother aren't on very good terms, yet for your own selfish reasons you ignore this fact. Has father ever called you to ask about me? Almost never. He always calls me to ask about you. You claim mother dotes on me more. What about the times she took you to Malaysia, leaving me alone at home? What about the times when we went out, and she asked you if you wanted anything, only to have you show her a black face? I believe both mother and father love us equally, just in different ways. But you, you like to compare. You complain about me having complete freedom, and whatnots. Hey, wake up. How old are you? Anyway, whatever freedom I've today, I earned it on my own. When I was your age I still got caning. What about you? When was the last time you got caned? I earned this freedom, get this in your head. I studied when needed, and did well. I called back to let them know I won't be coming home. I DON'T LOSE MY TEMPER AT THEM WHEN THEY ASK ME FOR A LITTLE HELP IN HOUSEKEEPING.

Yet all you do is whine. Whine, while mother worries about your safety, while father worries about your safety, while I, worry about mother's health, worry about father's health, worry about them arguing again, and worry about you. Worried that you might do something really stupid. Wake up.

It almost feels like you're playing all of us out, you know that? Mother locked her room, probably hoping that it would stop you from changing clothes and thus, going out, but what did you do? You brought someone home to spoil the door knob/lock. Your own home. Have you got no conscience? By the way, the box of Hawaiin Host chocolates wasn't for your fucking friends. It was for you, and for mother. I don't remember being rich enough to treat your friends without knowing it. 1/2 of the chocolates was gone when mother finally wanted to eat it.

You said you've dreams too. I still remember what your dreams are. But all you're doing now is destroying them with your own hands. Your friends, have they ever talked to you about anything else other than "love", or how much they hate your other friend? Are you that weak that you can't stand alone for yourself? That weak that you would mix with the wrong bunch of fuckers just for support? People who can't even control themselves, till the point where they can't help it but finger themselves at the back of the class during Chinese lesson, and then proudly tell you how pleasurable it is. Maybe I should put their names and school here the next time. You know what's right, or what's wrong. But you simply refuse to change. Why?

20050710

張信哲 - 從開始到現在

張信哲 - 從開始到現在

如果這是最後的結局
為何我還忘不了你
時間改變了我們告別了單純

如果重逢也無法繼續
失去才算是永恆
懲罰我的認真是我太過天真

難道我就這樣過我的一生
我的吻注定吻不到最愛的人
為你等從一開始盼到現在
也同樣落的不可能~

難道愛情可以轉交給別人
但命運注定留不住我愛的人
我不能我怎麼會願意承認
你是我不該愛的人

如果再見是為了再分
失去才算是永恆
一次新的記憶為何還要再生

難道我就這樣過我的一生
我的吻注定吻不到最愛的人
為你等從一開始盼到現在
也同樣落的不可能~

難道愛情可以轉交給別人
但命運注定留不住我愛的人
我不能我怎麼會願意承認
你是我不該愛的人

拿什麼作證
從未~ 想過愛一個人
需要那麼殘忍才證明愛的深

難道我就這樣過我的一生
我的吻注定吻不到最愛的人
為你等從一開始盼到現在
也同樣落的不可能~

難道愛情可以轉交給別人
但命運注定留不住我愛的人
我不能我怎麼會願意承認
你是我愛錯了的人


Source: http://www.powersugoi.net/tingdong/song.php?song=70

For all those who don't understand the lyrics, click on the link above. There's an English translation there =).

20050708

I don't know what to write here. Damn. Full of thoughts, yet I'm at a complete loss for words.

Some people just want to use you.

Lyrics

The Used - Blue & Yellow
And it's all in how you mix the two,
And it starts just where the light exists.
It's a feeling that you cannot miss,
And it burns a hole,
through everyone that feels it.

Well your never gonna find it,
If your looking for it,
won't come your way,
Well you'll never find it,
if your looking for it.

Should've done something, but I've done it enough.
By the way, your hands were shaking,
Rather waste some time with you.

And you never would have thought in the end,
How amazing it feels just to live again,
It's a feeling that you cannot miss,
it burns a hole, through everyone that feels it

Well you're never gonna find it,
If your looking for it, won't come your way, yea
Well you'll never find it, if you're looking for it.

Should've done something, but I've done it enough.
By the way, your hands were shaking.
Rather waste some time with you.

Should've said something, but I've said it enough.
By the way, my words were faded.
Rather waste some time with you.

Time with you...
Waste some time with you...

Should've done something, but I've done it enough.
By the way, your hands were shaking.
Rather waste my time with you.

Should've said something, but I've said it enough.
By the way, my words were faded.
Rather waste my time with you.

Should've done something, but I've done it enough.
By the way, my hands were shaking.
Rather waste some time with you.

Waste some time with you... (repeats)

Saosin - Bury Your Head
Bury your head,
Bury your head,

I was feeling fine,
You’ll be coming clean tonight,
And I’ll be falling down with you once again,
Call me your valentine call me once tonight,
And I will have said it's okay,

The things you said, I’m rehearsing them,
(The things you said, The things you said)
The things you said, I’m rehearsing them,

They went back on us,
(Until his eyes rolled back couldn't step it up),
I could know when to come on to it,
It’s the thought that emerges,
(Take back couldn't step it up),
I could never love the ion change,

Bury your head, and the child smashed you down,
And the psalms will soon recall me again,
(Fall down below),
I’ll sleep tonight when you're okay,
And I haven't said it's okay,

The things you said, I’m rehearsing them,
The things you said, I’m rehearsing them,

They went back on us,
(Until his eyes rolled back couldn't step it up),
I could know when to come on to it,
It’s the thought that emerges,
(Take back couldn't step it up),
I could never love the ion change.

They have been the ones who’ve seen enough,
This is what you call love,

They stole my lies,
Sold right and all,
They wandered around and round my mouth,
They stole my lie,
Sold right and all,
(Stole it all, Stole it all),
They have been the ones who’ve seen enough,

They went back on us,
(Until his eyes rolled back couldn't step it up),
I could know when to come on to it,
It’s the thought that emerges,
(Take back couldn't step it up),
I could never love the ion change,

You'll be coming clean tonight...

Source: http://www.sing365.com/

20050703

Just Another Post

Hello all, I'm finally updating this blog. To be honest I've been wanting to update it, but just didn't exactly know what to write. I'm still not writing what I really want to write, just going to update this with some stuff that's been going on in my life.

Hmm, school's been pretty tiring, especially the last two weeks. SIP is already tiring enough, and I still have to participate/organize some events, and stuff. They're really fun though. Took part in SAF Day last Friday as an usher, and it was really relaxing, and rewarding! Haha =P. Regarding my SIP, I think I've to learn C#. Sigh. Anyway, Wee Quan is coming back tomorrow, so yay! He was away for 2 weeks due to reservist =(.

On another note, Joven, one of my best friends, will be going for National Service this Friday =(. Wish him luck!

Alright, I really don't know what to write. Good night and take care =).

Note: Alright I updated, idiot. =P

*Update*
Since I can't fall asleep either, I think I'll just try to write something. Anyway, what I'm going to write is just a general question/opinion, nothing too personal. How is someone supposed to move on, after breaking up? Most people will start keeping themselves busy, keeping themselves occupied with all the activities they can find. When you're busy doing something else, your mind stops thinking about the sad things. However, facts are facts. When you're alone and doing nothing, probably every night before you sleep, you'll still think of all these sad stuff. Ok, that's all. I really don't know what to write at all. GOOD NIGHT! =)