20080323

Sigh.

The feeling of waking up, hoping that you're feeling better, only to realise that you haven't sucks. I posted a while ago that I feel great and all, but damn, it only lasted for a week or so. I'm back to coughing, feeling unwell and all. My friend got diagnosed with bronchitis recently, and he was telling me to better go check it out just in case.

Just a brief breakdown of what happened. I have been coughing for at least the past 5 months already. It's pissing me off, seriously. Sometime around December, I decided to go to Bedok Polyclinic for a checkup. The doctor told me that it's nothing, might be URTI (Upper Respiratory Tract Infection), and to get an X-ray done in my camp if things don't get better with the medicine. For whatever reason, the doctor thinks that I'm trying to "chao keng". I'm cool with that, so whatever. Took the medicine, things got better, I'm happy. Sadly, around a week later, I started coughing again. This time round it got so bad that my chest and head hurts from the cough. So sometime in late January or early February, I went to my camp's Medical Centre. I told the doctor what has been happening, and managed to get an X-Ray done. According to the doctor, there was phlegm in my lungs. Surprisingly, he only gave me antibiotics, and said I could go on exercising as usual. Well, I got a little better, but the coughing persisted, as well as the slight chest pains. During one of my usual trainings, I felt a sharp pain in my chest. It gave me a shock actually. I then decided to go to Changi General Hospital, where an ECG was done on me. Nothing wrong with my heart, thankfully. The doctor even told me the pain could be due to excessive muscle strain. To be honest I felt she was just smoking her way through, because I did not really push myself, if at all.

I decided then, that maybe I should go for Traditional Chinese Medicine, since I've always preferred it anyway. Went once, it really helped. I felt like I've fully recovered, and thus, the wonderful post I made a while ago. Sadly, nature doesn't always side me. I got drenched in the rain a couple of times, due to the call of duty. So I fell sick again. Went to the Chinese physician again, and felt better again. I was so sure I'm completely recovered, until 3 days ago. For some stupid reason I had a sore throat, then the coughing started again. Chest pains here and there too. In fact, it's pains everywhere, what TCM would call "wind".

I'm now deciding whether to go to SGH and get another proper checkup done, or to go back to the Chinese Physician, get some medication, and actually REST PROPERLY AND IGNORE EVERYTHING FOR ONCE.

I want to recover fast. Real fast. I want to exercise, workout, and get a better body. I want to keep fit. I want to go out and enjoy myself. I want to be able to stay home knowing that I won't be getting my family members sick due to whatever I'm having. I want to be able to kiss Geri knowing that I won't be passing anything to her. Damn it, I want to recover. I've seen so many of my friends fall sick and they almost never recover, for whatever reason. I need to, want to, and have to recover.

Also, I've decided that in line with my goal to become more assertive, I've decided to abstain from any profanities from now on. Profanities are fun sometimes, but they also cause you to look like you can never win any argument unless you use them.

Update: Just to add, I actually started to wonder if my cough and pains are due to stress. Did some search on Google, and realise it might be, although I seriously do not feel stressed at all right now. Maybe it's the collective effects of the stress I've been feeling a while ago. Sigh. Whatever I just want to recover.

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