When I'm idling away, I'm usually full of ideas on what to blog about. I'd be thinking "I'm going to blog about love", "I'm going to rant and complain", or "Let's write a poem, it's been a while". Sadly, every single time I log into Blogger, I just lose the interest to do so. I suddenly find it pointless to write about it, for whatever reason. As such, I decided that I'm going to blog aimlessly for this post, and just write whatever comes to my mind.
I think that people are lonely creatures. Regardless of gender, regardless of whether you are a good or evil (relative I guess) person, you are just lonely. I'm sure that regardless of what you are doing, all you'd really want at the end of the day is people to listen to you, to be with you, and to appreciate you for who you are. No, I'm not talking about having a special someone. I'm talking about people in general. As kids growing up, you throw tantrums to get attention. As you grow up, the ways in which you use to get attention changed. From being a clown to being a "I'm-too-cool" kinda person. For girls, maybe you'd changed from conservative nerd to liberal bitch. Or the other way around. Or something similar. You'd go onto IRC, Friendster, Facebook, MySpace, Blogger, or just about anything that would allow you to express yourself, and get some attention. Along the way, you will get some attention, and probably think that "People like me when I'm like this, I'm popular now" or something along those lines. However, you don't truly feel contented, something just seems missing. So you change again, you chase after the fashion industry, you go for the latest, and the greatest. Or you decide that you want to be the anti-trend type of person, so you come across as cool, or laidback. Whatever it is, you hope to project an image of yourself that others would like. Again, you'll get some attention, yet still find something missing. So the cycle goes on. Until one day, you decide that enough is enough, and thus end your life.
Or maybe, you'd realise that the reason you're never contented is because all those personalities you've projected aren't the real you. Maybe you'll come to realise that deep inside, all you really wanted was just someone who could appreciate you for YOU. And when the person comes along, you'd feel vulnerable, yet wonderful at the same time. You'd feel alive, and feel stupid for doing what you did.
It's alright to change, provided you truly believe in it. Many a times we worry too much about what others think of us. Come to think of it, if everyone thinks that way, it'd also mean that most of the people are too busy worrying about what you think about them, instead of the other way round. Besides, if someone truly doesn't like the way you are, do you have to really comply with him?
Yeah, I blog because I know my friends read it, maybe people whom I don't know read it too (when they blog-hop). But I also blog because it allows me to express myself more freely. Thanks for the attention =). Good night =).
New Found Glory - Boulders
I feel locked away
With the weight of the world on my shoulders
Crushing on my head are boulders
Made of lies and dust from all of us
What of the bonds we've made
That have started to fade
We can't control the time
But right now I'll take what I can get out of my life
Medicate me again
So I fall away
Medicate me now
So I fall away
I feel torn between
Two different sides of an opinion
Don't know what state I've been in
Don't believe in trust, for only one of us
What of the progress made
That night we all forgave
It was a thought out crime
But you should take what you can get out of this life
I never said that I didn't need you
Put down your arms
And wrap them both right around me
Right around me