20050329

Game Over

Alright, MSD's paper over. Again, it's passable. I don't know if I'll score, due to the damned Question C1... It's worth 40 marks... If I can get at least 20 out of that I'd be very happy =). Wish me all the best =P.

Anyway, just relieved that the examinations are finally over. However, I feel empty now. Nothing to do at all, and I hate it. Why? Because when there's nothing to do, I tend to think about the past and shit. I hate to admit it, but I'm seriously weak when it comes to affairs of the heart. Well =(. You know, coming home after the last paper, calling your special someone and telling her, whining, or whatever. It's a warm feeling. Since I really have nothing to do now, and I can't get to sleep, I'll probably just rant as I waste my time surfing on the net. Alright, the time now is 1.22am (according to my ridiculously 20 minutes ahead-of-time clock). Haha.

I realised I can't joke very well. Not that I can't make jokes, but rather, I don't laugh at most of the things people find funny. Seriously. Maybe I'm just too serious, or something like that. I wonder =(. Or maybe I'm just plain boring with no sense of humour. I remember I use to laugh at those things too, but now I don't. On the other hand, I'm humoured by things that people find no humour in. Weird. Am I really that different? Recently, I don't even feel like responding to my friends' jokes or comments. I know they're trying to have fun and whatnots, but I just don't see the point in anything anymore.

Although I frequently joke/say that I want to know this girl, know that girl, the truth is, I don't really bother. Yeah I'm a loser probably =). It's like, "So what if I know her?" or something like that. Haha =). Well, it's not just girls, it's just about anyone. I seem to be treating/seeing humans more and more like objects. I think Hilmi will understand this the most. It's not like I want to, it just happens. After all, I personally am just a tool to some of you, right =)? Just another object for you to make use of.

Some people claim that they know what they're doing, that they're making their lives happier, etc. STOP CONSOLING YOURSELF. You'll probably realise how pathetic you are when you pull yourself out of the picture and look at the situation from an outsider's point of view. This does not apply to those who really try, I'm talking about people who only run away from their problems, people who only care about themselves. Just for your own happiness, you ignore the feelings of everyone around you. Selfish people. Where's your damn conscience? Is it that hard to stop running away, and just face your problems? Alright, that's all, I'm lazy to elaborate.

Talking about running away... I guess I probably am =(. Haha. All these stuff reminds me of my ex-girlfriend a lot. Well =(. So many things I can't understand... I don't understand how you can be so sweet back then, yet towards the end, it's like you're a completely different person. Bah.

Alright I'm bored, seriously. Just read Hilmi's blog. Haha =P. Good night.

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