YCYC

20040830

"Friends"

To those who treat me as a real friend, thank you. To those who aren't, this is for you.

If a friend is someone you find when you need help, yes, I am your friend. If you only talk to me when your computer crashes, when your drivers fail to install, when you get hit by a virus, when you have problem installing Windows, when your puny brain has no idea how to change the boot sequence of your drives, YES I AM YOUR BEST FRIEND. When you have no idea how the hell to resize an image file, when you need help downloading some crap off some servers, when you need help with your studies WHEN YOU DON'T EVEN HELP yourself, when you fucking think you're a friend just because you bought me some drink, when you need some mp3s or crap, YES I AM YOUR BEST FRIEND. But when I all I want is some company, or some MINOR help, such as PRINTING some stuff for me, you all disappear. "No ink." "Go home got stuff to do." Not once, not twice, but nearly all the time.

Eh? I'm showing off? No. To be honest, I HATE HELPING YOU ALL. Know that? No. Why? Because I don't want to start some stupid conflict with you people, so I help anyway. I would be helping myself too. I always hoped that someday you all will actually become real friends, but I'm about to give up that dream. And I've other things to bother other than you people. You only talk to me when you need help. WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU WHEN I NEEDED HELP? When my parents divorced, when my girlfriend left me, when I truly needed someone to talk to, where were you? You don't even feel any shame. You think I fucking owe it to you?

When I did well for my studies, when I first had a girlfriend, where were you to share my joy? "Show off." "Zhong Se Qing You." (It means I choose my girlfriend over my friends.) Didn't you all say that? When I lost my girlfriend, I'm sure some of you are thinking "YOU DESERVE IT." Yeah, I deserve it. And someday when you really need help, I won't fucking help you anymore, because you don't deserve my help. And I don't deserve, OR NEED your "FRIENDSHIP". I know some of you are reading this. Hate me then.

1 comment:

kit said...

oh dear.. is this really how u feel? well, dont give up on friends k. there WILL be someone who truly wants to be ur friend. dont give up looking for tt person!

and well, though we're like kilometres apart(different schs and all), i just want u to know that u have found a friend in me. really.

anytime u need to talk, just gimme a call ya?