YCYC

20040831

Probably Another Long Post

I don't know where to start, or how to begin... So I'll just rant away. Alright, next week's my birthday, and this is the first time in my life that I DON'T REALLY WANT TO CELEBRATE IT. I really wish I can celebrate it happily with my friends and family, but all I'm wondering about right now is if my ex-girlfriend will wish me happy birthday. I don't even know if I want that from her. If she does, I'll probably lose myself for a while... If she doesn't, I'll probably feel a little hatred for her. Sometimes I really wish I can just forget everything related to her, is it called repression or something? But then again, I don't want to make the time I spent with her completely meaningless. Sigh. Maybe I'm already repressing some stuffs, because when I went back to my secondary school today, I could barely remember a thing. More on this later. As I was saying, I really have no idea what I want, or what to expect. I know I shouldn't even give a fuck about her anymore, because it's almost 100% she doesn't care. But I still do, and my foolish self wants to believe that she still cares, at least as a friend. Can someone knock some serious sense into me? I'm supposed to be happy on my birthday, DAMN IT. Even as I try, I can't believe the nice girl I knew is gone. Did I really do something wrong? If I did, AND IF YOU, GIRL, ARE READING THIS RIGHT NOW, please tell me where I went wrong.

Anyway, I went back to my secondary school with Tiong Guan today, as stated earlier, and I couldn't find the two teachers I really wanted to find. Sigh :(. One has retired, and the other was nowhere to be seen. Damn. I really hope they're doing well right now :). I had to skip two lectures to return to my secondary school, and this is what happened :(. After that, I returned to TP, where I continued the rest of the day. Of course, the day ended as usual, and we played soccer again. Haha :).

After playing soccer, we talked and stuff (again, as usual). Today's world is really sad, no one really values virginity and shit like that anymore. It's not that I'm conservative and shit. But it's a fact. Girls sleeping around for money, guys fucking around for "fame". What else? Sigh, I guess I'll end this now. Take care and see you people around. Someday I might be on the news...

Note: The CEN shirt designs are more or less final. Download them here. Please post your comments, if any, whether you're in CEN club, or TP, or whatever. Thanks!

Edit: I'll be on the news for good reasons, for sure. Don't get the wrong idea! Raj! -_-

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Sometimes I really wish I can just forget everything related to her, is it called repression or something? ---> I suppose you shouldn't forget.. you should just overcome. And I suppose she wouldn't be wishing u a happy birthday too..

Anonymous said...

uh.. "I suppose" is a redundant phrase anyway.

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