20040907

Another Day Passes By

I didn't really enjoy much today, been thinking about her. I know the chances of us ever getting back together again is close to 0%, and I also know that it would be hard even if we get back together. But I think, after yesterday, that I've been really... Lying to myself all these while. If there's a second chance, I would take it. I would take it. I asked her yesterday, if she minded a date, and she said she didn't mind one, sometime after her examinations. She said she'd call me after that, so yeah. But we'll probably just go out as friends, and that's that. Maybe some things are just fated, we can't force someone to like us. Without love, there's nothing. No matter how much you try, how hard you try, without love, nothing will work. I don't even know what I want now. On another note, I don't think I dialled the wrong number... That number was my ex-girlfriend's sister's number... And it got diverted it seems... I called and asked her this morning, and she finally admitted she sent that message, but it was by accident. She wanted to forward that message from her sister's phone to her own one, but somehow she sent to me. She said she's sorry she didn't admit it yesterday, because she didn't know how and what to say. All I can say is, I would want to believe her, even if it's hard, and... Maybe somewhere in her mind I'm still there, that's why she sent to me, of all people. But then again that's only my foolish self. I thought I could hate her and stuff, but when I talked to her I couldn't help but revert to my old self towards her...

Tomorrow's finally my birthday. Maclean and the rest seems to have planned something for me. Thanks guys. Hope it's not some stupid thing :P. Also, thanks to Nicholas and the rest for lending a ear. It's nice talking to fucktards like you all :P. Seriously, thanks. I'll treat you all to something nice when I ever have the money. Damn the fucking Director List, there's no monetary award :(. Or I would have taken it and used it on you all. Now I've to work. Damn...

It doesn't matter how hard you try
No matter how much you cry
Even till the day you die
Once a girl says goodbye
You can only ask why

She won't be back...

I'm stuck.

BY THE WAY, to a fucking classmate of mine whom I shall not name, please take note of this. I didn't copy your TCS presentation, nor your ideas, because I practically slept through your presentation. Don't think that just because you're from some JC, you've a right to push your weight around here. I think you've succeeded in doing well in your studies, but in return, I can see you're stressed. It's obvious. You've more pimples than skin, more pride than character :). Do take care, you won't go far this way. For sure. Working hard just for your fucking pride and ego, don't make me laugh. I despise you.

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