20040927

My Life. Mine.

I think I should start thinking for myself for once, and ignore everyone else. At least for a while. There've been too many times I've let things pass by, because of friends. And sometimes, because of "friends".

I'm going to try not to stereotype anyone anymore. Whether they come from a clique that I can't get along with or not doesn't matter. I've made too many mistakes, misunderstood too many people. Most of the time I'm probably the one with the cold attitude to begin with. I don't give a fuck what they have done to you anymore. If they didn't do anything to me I won't be prejudiced against them. Friendship? I knew long ago who are real friends and who aren't, I just didn't want to express it in any way. To those who have been really great friends, I thank you. Seriously. One day if I'm rich enough I'll treat you all to something wonderful. To those who aren't friends, thank you for the experience. Makes me learn more. Go on with the act. You already know who you are :). I don't talk to you much, if at all, anymore. The only reason I'm doing so is because some of us are still friends with you. Don't really want to cause any conflicts.

This world is already fake enough, and things get worse when I see my friends wearing a god damn mask, trying to be someone they aren't. Just because of what? Because they're down? And? So if you're down you wear a mask and act like someone you aren't just so you can run away and enjoy your "peace", for that little while? While everyone who cares for you worry for you, you simply hide in your "haven". And irritate the shit out of people who've nothing to do with the cause of your sadness or whatever.

Call me a bastard if you want, but do think twice before saying it. Have I not done my part as a friend before? Seriously. I know there're people I've let down, because of girls. For example, I trusted a friend's girlfriend more than him for a period of time, because of the way I've always been. And what happened? Ended up the girl was just a lying pile of shit and I couldn't even be there for my friend. At the very least, I admit my mistake and I'm trying to make up for all these things now. But there're some of you out there who simply take things for granted. I've known one of you since Secondary Three, and now we're still in the same class. Other than asking me for help when your computer's down, have you really treated me as a friend before? Yeah, you accompanied me at times, but other than that I don't even see any friendship between us.

Bah. Just a rant :(. Good night.

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